


Seb Chronicles: A Boy Has Two Dads

by SebastianHas2Dads



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Death, Future Fic, M/M, Mortality
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-07-28 20:05:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16248908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SebastianHas2Dads/pseuds/SebastianHas2Dads
Summary: Sebastian White struggles with some bullying from the villages older boys. He makes statements he later regrets as he attempts to cope. Robert and Aaron Sugden-Dingle do their best to support their son, but have different ideas on how to approach the situation leading to a few minor disagreements and a major decision impacting all three of their lives.*Added two quick scenes to finish out Chapter 1.





	1. He's Not My Dad! Not Really

**Author's Note:**

> The idea for this story came from a statement made on Twitter about how would Robert and Aaron explain Seb's existence and conception. It is majorly cliche'd but this is my take on the _____ has two daddies topic.

_We are here today to celebrate the 20th anniversary of my fathers wedding. If everyone would be patient I’d like to be a selfish person and son and make this about me for a while._

_When I was really young, I called my fathers Daddy Robert and Daddy Aaron. I don’t know when I dropped their names, but Daddy Robert and Daddy Aaron changed to being just Daddy before becoming Dad. I don’t know how they did it, but neither of them were confused by this and always seemed to know which of my two fathers I was addressing. Everything changed though when I was a young lad just after their 10-year anniversary and before my 11th birthday._

*********************************

Aaron was leaning against the door frame watching as Sebastian cried into his folded arms while lying face down on his bed. Aarons thoughts returned to earlier with Sebastian telling Vanessa he wanted his real dad when they had arrived at the Mill. He had attempted to talk to him but Sebastian had taken off up the stairs heading to his room. Vanessa kept apologizing to Aaron as she explained her son Johnny and some of the other lads from the village had been teasing Sebastian for having two dads and no mum. He felt like a failure as a parent when Sebastian refused to speak to him or even allow him to provide any comfort during his distress. In the end for Seb’s sake, Aaron had sent a text to Robert to come home.

When Seb had stopped crying Aaron asked if he wanted something to eat and if he was ready to talk about what his friends had said. Not receiving an answer Aaron made some toast and a cup of tea placing both on the bedside table before he knelt to sit on the floor next to the door to Seb’s room. He’d been waiting for almost three-quarters of an hour for Robert when he heard the front door open and close. Aaron stood up walking into Seb’s room. He placed his hand on the young boy’s head and said, “Dad’s home Seb. Why don’t you come downstairs to talk to him?”

Aaron started toward the door when he heard a quiet grunt from the lad. He turned just as he was exiting the room to see Sebastian still laying in the same position. Aaron descended the stairs nodding to Robert. He was coming from the kitchen with two beers handing one to Aaron as he maneuvered himself to sit on the sofa. Robert took a large gulp from the beer, then sighed as he turned to Aaron.

“Ness called and filled me in on what happened.” Robert began reaching out to give a comforting squeeze to Aaron’s leg. “We can get him through this. He’s a smart lad and he has always understood.”

“I asked him to come down and talk with you, but he didn’t move.” Aaron explained. “He won’t talk to me Rob. Seb’s struggling with this and he needs you.”

Robert’s heart broke hearing the defeat in his husband’s voice. He grabbed both of Aaron’s hands leaning in to catch his eyes. Confidently, he stated, “We’ve always been a team with our son and this won’t change that now. Let’s go up together and be the dads he’s always known.”

Robert stood pulling Aaron up from the sofa at the same time. They both made their way upstairs to Sebastian’s room. Robert knocked before entering without waiting for his son to acknowledge them. Aaron noted he was still in the same position on the bed with the tea and toast untouched. Robert took a seat close to Sebastian while Aaron stood just inside the room.

“I see your dad made you some toast and a cuppa you’ve ignored.” Robert said as he placed his hand on his son’s back. “Probably cold now too. How about we go downstairs to the kitchen. We can make some fresh tea and talk about today.”

Sebastian lifted his head then pulled himself up to sit next to his father. He kept his head slung low looking down into his lap. Faintly, he asked, “Dad, can we talk alone…without him here?”

Robert looked over to Aaron to see how he reacted to their son’s request. He could see Aaron’s attempt to hide the hurt and confusion in his expression. “I think your dad should stay here so we can both hear what’s troubling you.”

“Rob, it’s fine.” Aaron conceded. He walked into the room picking up the plate & cup before turning to leave. “I’ll put the kettle on and make you both a cup of tea. Stay here with Seb. He needs you.”

Robert was getting ready to protest when Aaron left the room closing the door behind him. It tore at him how in one day Aaron appeared to have taken second place for Seb in the parenting arena. They’d always made decisions together and supported him equally. Robert was upset with his son, but Aaron was right as always. Robert moved closer to Sebastian putting his arm around him. Calmly he started, “Your dad and Vanessa filled me in about today. You want to tell me about it?”

“He’s not my dad. Not really.” Sebastian whispered. “Johnny said I was a loser for not having a mum like all of them. Then Moses said Johnny and him heard their mums saying I was a mistake and only my mum wanted me.”

“Seb, legally Aaron is as much your dad as I am. He adopted you when your mother was no longer capable of taking care of you.” Robert sighed. He knew this day was going to come with Aaron and him already discussing what they would say to him. He wished Aaron hadn’t left; he needed him here for support and help explain to their son. “I don’t think Moses and Johnny understood what Nessa and Charity were talking about. You were never a mistake! You got that? Never, Sebastian.”

“Is the reason why you weren’t with mum cause you didn’t want me and she did?” asked Sebastian. He bowed his head to his chest and closed his eyes. He was trying to hide his tears from his father.

“I wanted you. Of course I wanted you.” Robert emphasized. “Bex and I…your mother. It’s difficult to explain. I love you, Seb. There was so much going on and you’re a bit young to understand. Maybe when you’re older, me and your dad can sit you down and explain it to you.”

Aaron tapped gently at the door, then opened it carrying two mugs of the promised tea. 

“He’s not my dad though…you are.” Seb whined. “I only want you and mum to be my parents.” 

Robert caught Aaron’s eyes witnessing the flinch of pain before his face radiated with sadness. He had heard something Seb should not have said. Aaron crossed the room and placed the mugs on the bedside cabinet. As he was moving to exit, Robert reached out for his hand. Gripping it gently, he said, “Thank you. I was thinking the three of us could go to the pub for tea tonight.” 

“I was gonna order carryout and get Seb’s favorite pizza.” Aaron explained. He gazed down at Sebastian and attempted a small smile. “What do you think kiddo? Pizza or the pub?” Robert felt Seb shrug his shoulders without looking up at either him or Aaron. He was hoping Seb would answer, but he still stayed slumped at the shoulders. Rob gave him a soft nudge. He asked again, “Pizza, the pub, or do you want something else for tea?”

“I’ll pick up carryout pizza.” Aaron decided when Sebastian didn’t reply. He let Robert’s hand drop as he pulled away heading for the door.

Seconds later he felt Robert put his arms around his waist pulling him toward him so that Robert’s chest was pressed against his back. Robert grasped both of Aaron’s hands within his, placing his chin to rest on Aaron’s shoulder, he quietly whispered, “Seb is still our son and you will always be his father.”

Aaron head nodded accepting the words from Robert. He felt the softest of kisses Robert placed on his cheek before he was released from his embrace. Aaron took a deep breath leaving the room closing the door behind him once again.

“Seb, I didn’t want to tell you this yet, if at all.” Robert started as he sat next to his son on the bed. “You’re mum and me were never together as a proper couple. For reasons you wouldn’t understand yet, I struggled with the idea of being a father. In a moment of panic, I wanted to run away from it all.”

“You didn’t want me?” Seb cried.

“No. No, that is not what I’m saying.” Robert explained as he pulled his son into an embrace. “I wanted you, but I was not a good person back then. I was ashamed of who I had become and didn’t want you to suffer because you had a dad like me. I thought you would be better off if I wasn’t in your life.” 

Sebastian pulled away from the embrace to look into his father’s face. Confused, he stated, “But you’re my dad and I love you. You are the best dad in the world. How could I be better not having a dad or not having you as my dad?”

Robert took a deep breath regretting the direction this conversation was taking. Sebastian was a smart lad, but still too young to hear how some men should not be fathers. After considering a few moments how best to explain, he continued, “Aaron is the strongest man I’ve ever known. Ten years later and I can still hear his voice and see his face as he told me he believed I would be a brilliant father. He’s always had a way of seeing more in me than I see in myself. Do you understand what I’m trying to explain?”

“No, not really.” Sebastian answered honestly. “If I already have you as a dad and I think you’re the best dad ever, why do I need a second dad?”

Robert pondered Sebastian’s latest question. He thought of several things to say in response, but didn’t think any of them were right or would help Seb understand any better than when they started talking about all this. Finally, Robert decided what to say. “You don’t need two dads. However, you are lucky to have Aaron as your father. He didn’t need to be there for me when I had the wobble about being a father. We weren’t really even friends then because I was a bad person that hurt a lot of people then. Including him. But because of who he is and the type of person he is, Aaron supported me, encouraged me and helped me believe in myself. When I asked him to consider adopting you, he said yes and that we were a family. To a Dingle, family is everything. You may not need a second dad or even want a second dad right now…but Aaron isn’t a second dad. He’s your dad and the three of us are a family.”

Robert pulled Sebastian into another hug rubbing his hand up and down his son’s back. He kissed the top of Sebastian’s head before releasing him and standing up. He walked toward the door, stopped and turned just before he could exit. “I think you have quite a lot to think about with our talk. Maybe between now and the time we finish eating after considering what I’ve said, the three of us can continue on. You think you can do that for me?”

Robert waited until Seb gave him a nod of approval. Finishing, he said, “I love you, son.” He turned and exited the room.

********************

Sebastian sat at the table with his father’s; he hadn’t touched much of the pizza Aaron had brought home for the three of them. He had pinched a few of the toppings along with some of the cheese and nibbled on them. Both Robert and Aaron had tried encouraging him to eat more, but his appetite wasn’t there. 

As his fathers began to clean up, he asked, “May I please be excused?”

“Yeah, go on.” Aaron replied at the same time Robert said, “Not yet.”

“Seb, I wanted us to continue on from earlier but with both me and your dad here.” Robert explained. 

“Robert, I’d like to have a few moments before everything gets heavy.” Aaron countered with his husband. Aaron turned his attention to Sebastian. “You wouldn’t mind giving your dad and me some time? We won’t be long Seb and then if you ready to talk to us both, we’ll be here to listen.”

Sebastian nodded before standing. He cleared his dinner plate and utensils taking them to the sink. He was beginning to climb the stairs when he heard Robert call out his name. He stopped turning his head to the kitchen. Robert was standing at the threshold between the kitchen and sitting area.

“You know both me and your dad love you, Seb.” stated Robert. “We won’t be too long. Be thinking about what I said earlier. Yeah?”

Aaron watched Sebastian as he listened to his father. He had so many physical similarities to Robert there was no doubt they were father and son. And then he witnessed Seb nod his head in the same way Robert did on many occasions before. It brought back memories for Aaron of he and Robert sitting on a hillside when Robert recounted what had happened to him when he was 15 years old. Seb continued to climb the steps after with Aaron still lost in his thoughts.

“Aaron, did you hear me?” Robert asked as he sat at the table.

“Huh?” Aaron mumbled. “Oh, yeah.”

“You wanted some time before we talk to Seb. What couldn’t wait til later?”

Aaron grabbed a couple of beers from the refrigerator before sitting down and offering one to his husband. “I was thinking about what said just before I went out of the pizza and then your conversation with him while I was gone. Maybe we should let Seb decide?”

“What do ya mean?” 

“When we talk to Seb, let’s tell him it is okay to call me by my first name.” Aaron proposed. 

“No, Aaron. You’re his father.” Robert argued. “Seb will continue to call you dad because you are.”

“Rob, You’re right, I’ll always be his dad and I’ll still love him just the same. That won’t change.” Aaron sighed. “I wanna do this for Seb. If it will help remove the reason for his being bullied, I think it will be worth it. I don’t want to see him sad and upset; I’d rather he call me Aaron than dad if that is what makes him happy.”

Robert took a swig of his beer contemplating what Aaron was proposing. He didn’t like the idea. It gave the impression they were letting Seb’s bullies win. If they did this, they would be allowing those kids to define what their family should be. “I don’t know Aaron.” 

“Do you remember when we get back together? You made a promise to me Rob.” Aaron said. “You said you would never push Seb on me.”

“Yeah?” Robert asked with confusion but also some trepidation in his voice.

“We need to let Seb decided. If he wants to call me Aaron or dad, I want it to be his choice.” he explained. “I don’t want Seb to feel like we are pushing me onto him. Seb is still young and finding himself. And Rob, it would hurt me more if he grew to resent me because we were adamant he call me his dad.” 

********************

  The pain of being rejected by one of his fathers was the last thing Seb remembered as he fell asleep crying. Sitting up on his bed, he was feeling confused from the conversation with his dad and Aaron from the night before. His confusion wasn’t the only emotion he was struggling with as he had woken up. He was also ashamed for lying when he said he understood why Aaron didn’t want to be called dad anymore. Seb knew it was his own fault for saying Aaron wasn’t his real dad. This was his punishment and he had to be a big boy to prove to his real father he wanted to be loved and didn’t want to lose him also. 

There was a knock on the door before it opened with his dad peaking his head in. Smiling, he asked, “You wanna get breakfast at the café? Your dad...er..Aaron headed out early to work to play catchup after missing time this week.” 

Sebastian nodded slightly before climbing out of bed. He couldn’t remember the last time Aaron hadn’t made a big fry-up for Saturday morning breakfast. He honestly didn’t think it had ever happened. It was more proof Aaron didn’t like him anymore. If there was no fry-up, there wouldn’t be any lazing around until afternoon to playing footie with his dads. Maybe when he was asked to break the tie for Saturday night movie choice, if they even watched a movie again, he would start to always side with Aaron to keep him from hating him completely. Just one problem with his plan, then his only dad left would begin to hate him also.

“Can we go see Mum after breakfast?” Sebastian softly asked as he got dressed. His dad stopped making his bed and turned to him. “I know it is a day early, but maybe I could also stay with her tonight. I promise to be good and not give her any problems.” 

“Seb, your mum needs structure. It takes planning for you to spend the night with her. Let’s see if we can set something up for next weekend.”

“Yeah, okay.” He responded trying to mask his disappointment. His only option left would be to skip movie night. He wouldn’t have to choose and fear losing his dad or give Aaron any more reasons to not like him or want to not be around him. 

The two of them had finished up and started heading off to the café. Their walk up the drive was quiet with the only question Robert asking of Sebastian being what he wanted to do for his birthday party and did he have his birthday wishlist completed.

“Robert Sugden-Dingle and Sebastian White…what are you doing outside? Tell me the day hasn’t passed me by and it is afternoon already.” Chas chuckled thinking her own joke was amusing. Continuing, she asked, “Where’s Aaron?”

“At the scrapyard working to catchup.” Robert replied. He reached over and ruffled Seb’s hair. “This one is taking me to Brenda’s for breakfast.” 

“Nonsense! If that son of mine left you two in the lurch, you’ll just have to come let Nana make your breakfast. We’ve already got a crowd and I couldn’t turn away two of my three favorite boys.” Chas exclaimed as she reached for Sebastian’s hand and began pulling him toward the Woolpack.

A calm relief began to settle over Sebastian; Aaron hadn’t told Nana Chas yet. He knew it was just a matter of time before he lost her also. He might be able to squeeze the rest of the day still having his gran. An idea was beginning to form as he was pulled along with Nana Chas and his dad talking over things he wasn’t paying attention to. If he could spend the day and win her over, he might just be able to fix this mess he made. A son is required to listen to and obey their parents. Even Aaron couldn’t disobey if Nana Chas told him he had to like him.

His father opened the door to the backroom stepping in followed by Chas and him. The first thing Seb noticed was Charity and Vanessa milling around the kitchen and placing food on the table. Then he saw Johnny sitting on the sofa playing on his mobile. Seb’s heart sank seeing his tormentor without a care in the world. 

“Room for two more?” Chas asked. “I caught Robert and Seb slopping off to Brenda’s because my son couldn’t be bothered.” 

“Aaron went in to work this morning. He’s wanting to get caught up from our time off this week.” Robert explained giving Chas a half grin and shaking his head.

“What about your Saturday afternoon footie match? Hey, if Aaron is gonna be at work maybe Johnny and me can come along and play.” Vanessa offered. 

Sebastian’s stomach turned as he watched Johnny turn his head toward him with the announcement. He moved closer to his father seeking out protection. He wouldn’t be able to win over Nana Chas if he was spending the day playing football. He also didn’t want to play with Johnny. If Johnny hadn’t teased him about having two dads, he wouldn’t have made his mistake.

“Dad, I’m not feeling very good.” Sebastian whispered. “Can we go home?”

“Are you sure mate? We haven’t had breakfast yet and it smells great.” his father responded encouragingly. He placed his palm on Seb’s forehead feeling for a temperature. “You don’t feel warm.”

“You can stay and eat. I can go back and lay down. I’ll be alright on my own for a little bit.” He countered. If he could convince his father to stay and have breakfast, it would be one less thing his dad would be disappointed in him. 

“This has come on all of a sudden. Seb, you were wanting to stay with your mum earlier. Are you not feeling well because I said you needed to wait until tomorrow?” Robert asked.

Chas approached Seb also placing her hand on his forehead. “Let’s get you to my room. You can lay down and maybe get something to eat once you start feeling better.” 

Robert nodded to Chas before she directed Sebastian out of the room and upstairs. She settled him in bed before leaning over and placing a kiss on his forehead. 

********************

“Mum said Seb wasn’t feeling well this morning and didn’t eat any breakfast.” Aaron half asked as he walked into the Mill after seeing Robert. He crossed the room and gave him a welcoming kiss, nothing more than a peck really. He pulled back to gaze into his husband’s eyes. As Robert was putting his hands on Aaron’s waist, he inched forward and placed his hands on Robert’s forearms.

“Aaron it has been a bizarre day. Seb appeared fine this morning, but then was asking if he could spend the night with Rebecca. Then I got it all wrong with him at breakfast at your mums. I didn’t even think at the time, but Vanessa was there with Johnny.” Robert explained. 

“Did Johnny say something again?” Aaron grumbled. He stepped out of Robert’s embrace, then headed to the refrigerator for a couple of beers. “He didn’t get a chance.” Sighed Robert. “Thinking about it, Seb had already shut down before then. I thought it might have been not letting him see Rebecca today, but I’m not so sure now.” 

Aaron moved to sit at the table after handing a beer over to Robert. “You still think I made a mistake last night?” asked Aaron. He already knew the answer from his husband. They had spent half the night discussing it after their talk with Sebastian. 

“Aaron, not this again. I agreed we would let Seb decide.” Robert responded exasperated.

“But, the bullies get to win.” Aaron countered. “Rob, they are not defining our family. You, me and Seb. We are a family and nothing anyone says will ever change that.”

“No, we just give that power to my 10-year-old son!” 

“Wow!” Aaron exclaimed as he stood from the table. “You might have agreed in theory, but it sounds very much like you’re defining your family.” 

Robert watched with disappointment as Aaron walked away from the table. At first he thought he was heading for the stairs. He was wrong as he bypassed them for the front door. “Aaron, wait! You know that is not what I meant.”

Aaron paused just inside the open door. Facing Robert, he wiped a tear threatening to fall from his eyes. He sadly whispered, “I know that Rob. Deep down I do. You know I skipped out on our Saturday because I didn’t think I could handle it if Seb called me Aaron and not dad. I’ll be back later for movie night.”

********************

“Your dad…will be back soon for movie night. You wanna help me make popcorn and get all set up before he gets home?” Robert asked after sticking his head inside the door. He almost corrected himself from referring to his husband as dad and calling him by his name in Seb’s presence. Instead he left it wanting to remind himself and Seb they were family. 

“Where’d he go?”

“I’m not sure, but he should be back soon. He just needed some space to clear his head.” Robert answered truthfully. He entered the room and sat next to Seb on his bed. “Can we talk about last night?”

Seb slumped slightly knowing he was in trouble. Aaron’s words he heard earlier echoed in his mind. ‘…but it sounds very much like you’re defining your family.’ He didn’t stick around to hear anything else, instead rushing back to his room. Aaron didn’t raise his voice often and never with him. But Seb didn’t want it to be a first after Aaron had told him he didn’t want him for a son.

“Yeah, about me calling him Aaron instead of dad.” Seb asked. It felt weird rolling off his tongue, but he knew he would have to get accustomed to it.

“Your dad wanted you to make the decision, but I didn’t really agree with it even though I told him and you I did.” Robert explained. “Yesterday when you said your dad wasn’t your real dad it hurt a lot. More than I thought it would.”

“Are you mad at me?” Seb worried. “I didn’t mean to make everyone upset.”

Robert watched as his son pulled his hands inside his jumper then wipe at the tears threatening to spill over on his cheeks. Sebastian was definitely his father’s son. He had seen Aaron do the same thing so many times since they had met, but couldn’t recall if he had watched Seb do it before now. He probably had without realizing it. 

Thinking back Seb had often emulated Aaron. They had often commented how Seb was their very own mini-me. Especially with his preferred clothing; somedays wearing all black and a hoodie and others wearing button down, printed shirts, especially floral topped with a jacket with elbow patches. 

“Nobody is upset with you.” reassured Robert. “Both me and your dad just want what is best for you. We want you to be happy. We don’t always agree but we have always supported each other in the decisions...”

Robert stopped from shock at what he had just stated. He came to his son’s room with the goal of convincing Seb to call Aaron dad to protect his husband from any additional hurt. Aaron had been right earlier. He hadn’t fully accepted what Aaron had suggested and now he was here preparing to undermine the very thing Aaron had suggested to help their son.

“Dad?”

“Sorry. I lost my train of thought.” Robert apologized. Aaron was his husband and Seb’s father. He needed to support him and trust what he thought was best. “Remember yesterday when I said your dad…Aaron always had a way of seeing the best in me. He also was the first person I could be myself with and in the process I learned a valuable lesson. It was okay to be myself with everyone else.”

“I don’t understand.” Sebastian stated.

“Last night, Aaron and I talked to you about calling him Aaron instead of dad.” Robert began. “We both want you to be happy. You were right and Aaron is not your real dad if the only consideration is biology. He adopted you and legally he is your dad. We get to decide what our family is. If it is easier for you with the other boys and it makes you feel better to call him Aaron, then that is what you should call him. Do you understand now?”

“Understand what?” Aaron asked at the open door.

“How long have you been there?”

“Long enough.” Aaron smiled at Robert and Seb. He smiled at his husband and son. He smiled because the three of them are family. “Are we ready for the Sugden-Dingle White movie night?”

Seb was even more confused and still didn’t understand. His dad Robert was his real dad. That is what he was told by the other boys. Johnny’s mum Nessa had even told him the same thing. But what was the difference between a real dad and a legal or adoptive one. Seb was too scared to ask because his legal dad Aaron was there now. He decided he would ask his mum. Johnny was wrong about that. He didn’t have the same type of mum Johnny had, but he did and they even had the same last name.

“Can I skip movie night?” Seb questioned. If they didn’t have movie night, he wouldn’t have to choose between the two movies. Or even decide what he should call Aaron.

“Mate, are you still not feeling well?” Aaron asked. He crossed the room to stand in front of Seb. After placing his hand on his forehead, he said, “You don’t feel warm.”

“Do we need to talk more?” wondered Robert. He gave Aaron a quick glance.

“Nah, I just wanna play alone in my room tonight. I’m feeling better.” he lied giving a smile he hoped would convince both of the men before him.

“Are you sure? Your dad and me won’t know which movie to watch without your help.” Aaron explained trying to change Seb’s mind. “And we need your help eating the popcorn and candy.”

Aaron and Robert watched Seb slump. They both thought he did it in disappointment for not being able to play instead of watching a movie with his dads. Maybe he was getting too old to spend Saturday nights with them watching movies as a family. 

Robert made the first move after deciding it was Seb’s choice. They had said he could decide what to call Aaron. And they should let him decide if he didn’t want to spend movie night together. He leaned forward and placed a kiss on Seb’s forehead. Standing he started toward the door before turning to see Aaron leaning to place a similar quick kiss on their son’s head.

“If you change your mind, we’re just downstairs.” Robert offered before leaving the room with Aaron.


	2. Please don't shut me out.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the day after and what was seen as progress for one is a setback for another. Secrets are revealed that lead to more questions for Sebastian, but also Robert and Aaron.

_As a child when you hear your parents arguing you think the worst. A disagreement behind closed doors takes on epic proportions in a young impressionable mind. This is especially true when the subject of those disagreements was me. I had thought Dad and Aaron were gonna divorce and it would all be my fault. On the nights of those arguments to end all arguments I would cry myself to sleep after being tucked in because I had ruined the happiness the three of us had shared in our home. Or so I had thought at the time._

Aaron was sitting at the table filled with dishes of the remains of Sunday lunch, dirty plates, utensils and glasses. He told Robert he would do the cleanup while he took Seb to visit his mother. Aaron hadn’t move from the table except to get a beer from the fridge; on three separate occasions. He was still lost in his own thoughts of hearing Seb calling him Aaron. 

He guessed he hid how it made him truly feel from Seb good enough because he was comfortable and open today each time he had called him Aaron. The previous night when tucking Seb in bed and saying good night Seb wouldn’t even look at him at first. He had kept his eyes downcast and barely whispered ‘Goodnight, Aaron’ when he had said it. 

It was what Seb didn’t say though that hurt Aaron worse than not being called Dad. Seb had said goodnight to Robert and told him he loved him like every night before. Aaron had leaned over placing a kiss on his son’s head before saying goodnight and telling him he loved him. It was the same as when he left for his Sunday visit to Rebecca. His son said had said ‘Goodbye, Aaron’ and no ‘I love you.’ 

“Didn’t get very far on cleaning the kitchen.” Robert stated as he half sat on the back of the sofa looking into the kitchen at his husband. “Are you ready to talk now?” 

“Nothing to talk about.” Aaron deadpanned. Robert and he had stayed up late having a disagreement over Aaron sharing his feelings about Seb calling him by his first name. He didn’t want another lecture from his husband about bottling up his emotions. “How was Rebecca today?” 

“Don’t change the subject Aaron. You’ve hid it from Seb, but I know you. This is tearing you up inside just like it is me.” Robert argued. He had accepted Seb calling Aaron by his first name. He had even encouraged his son to honour Aaron’s request thinking it would be in all their best interest. But hearing their son say it was entirely different. 

“What do you want me to say, Rob? You were right!” Aaron growled as he stood and started to clear the table. 

“I want you to open up.” Robert begged. He entered the kitchen and started helping Aaron with the cleanup. “Please don’t shut me out.” 

“What are you doing?” Aaron asked as Robert began filling the dish washer. 

“It looks like I’m helping you clean the kitchen” Robert explained. He sported a slightly devilish grin. 

“I can see that. What I don’t know is why? I said I would take care of it.” 

“I’m proving a point.” Robert stated. He closed the distance between himself and his husband. He pulled Aaron in after putting his hands on Aaron’s waist resting their foreheads together. “You once told me we were rubbish on our own. We’ve had bumps over the years, but you and me…we’ve always been at our best when we are a team.” 

“And if I don’t wanna talk, are you still gonna help me clean up?” Aaron asked softly. He pulled his head back to look Robert in the eyes. 

“Of course I will because I love you and just in case you wanna start talking I’ll be here.” Robert responded with conviction. He hoped the smile he was giving Aaron would encourage him to be forthright. 

“And if I don’t?” Aaron questioned. There was little defiance to his inquiry. It was more Aaron attempting to be difficult and not coerced by Robert into doing what he wanted immediately. He did it more as a playful but face saving measure knowing the effect it would have on Robert. His husband always craved a challenge and Aaron didn’t mind playing the part if it lighted up the atmosphere in similar situations like this. 

Robert leaned in again rubbing his nose gently against Aaron’s before resting their foreheads together again. He let out a sigh, then took a deep breath. Optimistically, he explained, “You will. Do you know how I know? We’ve known each other for fourteen years and been married for 10 of those. Your stubbornness is no match for my patience and you and I both know it.” Robert tilted his head to steal a quick chaste kiss. Leaning back the smile on his face was a typical Robert smug like smile he knew Aaron would crumble for. 

“Tell me something…why have I stayed with a know it all like you all these years?” Aaron’s forehead wrinkled as his eyebrows lifted in a confused and questioning expression, still playing the game with Robert. The illusion wasn’t quite as successful as he wanted as he had a little lift to the corners of his mouth. 

“There isn’t enough time while we’re cleaning to cover all the reasons I’m the love of your life, Mr. Sugden-Dingle. And if we spend time talking about me, you won’t get a chance to talk about you.” Robert answered knowing and loving this part of this same verbal game they had played for years. 

“You and your massive ego best get busy cleaning, Mr. Sugden-Dingle. Anyway, I need to work through this in my own mind before I know how to explain it all.” Aaron pulled out of Robert’s embrace taking a few short steps back. 

“I also know that about you and when you’re ready I’ll be here. Everything in your own time. I’ll wait.” Robert quickly leaned forward to kiss his husband. He moved to the table to continue cleaning. “Well come on then. The kitchen isn’t gonna clean itself and I’m only helping out. Not doing it all for you, so chop-chop!” 

Aaron crossed over to begin cleaning alongside Robert. Every couple of minutes he would see Robert taking a quick glance before he would avert his eyes back to the task he was working on. Neither spoke as they worked on cleaning the kitchen. Robert was giving Aaron time he needed to work through how to explain what was going on in his head. 

“Do you believe in Karma?” Aaron questioned Robert breaking the silence after almost a half an hour of cleaning. He pulled two cans from the refrigerator handing one to Robert. “Like what we put out into the world will return to us tenfold?” 

“What’s this about Aaron?” Robert asked as he popped the lid on his beer. He followed Aaron into the living area sitting next to him on the sofa. 

“I know I told Seb he could call me Aaron and all, but what if this is happening now because of things I did in the past or decisions I’ve made? What if this isn’t the first of it but another in a long line of bad things to happen because of me?” The worry and doubt in Aaron resonated through his voice with his questions. 

“Aaron, you’re a good man and a great father. If Karma was coming for either of us, I think we could both agree I’d be the prime target what with my history.” Robert joked. He attempted to lighten the mood for Aaron in the hopes he would continue to open up about his feelings. 

Aaron gave Robert a half-formed weak smile that didn’t extend beyond the corners of his lips. “I don’t want to bring up old wounds, but do you remember when I told you I had been thinking about what it would be like if Rebecca lost the baby?” 

“That wasn’t you, Aaron.” Robert placed a hand on Aaron’s shoulder. He gave it an easy squeeze saying, “We’ve talked about this. That was a bad time for both of us and I said basically the same thing. Only I thought it for selfish reasons. I was scared I would lose you if Rebecca had the baby.” 

“And I wasn’t selfish?” Aaron countered. 

“No, Aaron. You were struggling and it was affecting your health.” Robert interrupted before Aaron could continue. He was already concerned, but now little alarm bells were ringing as he wondered if Aaron’s state of mind was slightly more fragile. “If Karma existed, it wouldn’t come after you. Don’t think about any of this being your fault. All this started because a bunch of kids were teasing Seb. Nothing more. Seb calling you by your first name doesn’t change anything. You’re still his favourite dad. Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” lied Aaron. He appreciated the effort Robert put into reassuring him after all these years by referring to him as Seb’s favourite dad. It usually worked; this was going to be an exception but he couldn’t let Robert know that. Just like he couldn’t tell Robert the rest of what else was on his mind. He leaned forward placing his lips softly against his husband. Pulling back, he smiled again, said “I love you. And thank you for knowing just what to say when I need it.”

*********************************

Rebecca had been watching Seb play his video games again after supper, much the same as when Robert had dropped him off just after lunch. Throughout the afternoon and then again during dinner Sebastian had continued to be silent unless he was responding to a direct question. She didn’t have much time before Seb would be going back to Emmerdale. She wanted to find out why he was withdrawn before he left. 

“You’ve been awful quiet since your dad dropped you off. Wanna tell me about your week?” 

“Mum, dad always tells you everything going on before he leaves.” sighed Sebastian. He glanced at his mum briefly before returning to his game. 

“No, he only told me you had a rough week. Your dad was in a hurry to get back home. He was here less than five minutes dropping you off.” Rebecca watched her son for any reaction. His eyes flickered up again momentarily increasing her worries. “Is everything okay with you and your dads?” 

Seb placed the game on the floor to the side of him. He looked and met his mother’s eyes with suspicion. She had said Dad hadn’t said anything to her but here she was asking. He was about to lie but her duel expression of concern and confusion changed his mind. He thought it was more likely she had forgotten anything his father might have said earlier. It made him sad knowing his only mum had problems with her memories. It was another of those confusing things in his life. 

“Mum, what’s the difference between a real dad and legal dad?” 

“What’s brought this on, Seb?” she questioned. This was something she wasn’t expecting. She stood from her chair to sit next to Seb on the living room floor. 

“Johnny and the other boys. They were teasing me about having two dads that didn’t want me and no mum, but you’re my mum.” Seb’s lower lip was wobbling and tears were forming in his eyes. “I don’t even know why it is bad to have two dads.” 

Sebastian began sobbing. Rebecca pulled him onto her lap wrapping her arms around him. She slowly rocked him while whispering words of comfort and placing small kisses on his head. It was long before he was back in control with his eyes dry and crawling off his mum’s lap. 

“Did you get it all out of your system now?” Rebecca asked. She waited for acknowledgement with Seb giving a slight affirmative nod before she continued. “It’s not a bad thing to have two dads. Both of your fathers love you very much and they are both your real father.” 

Sebastian hesitated before commenting trying to figure out how to explain what he was wanting clarified. Finally, he stated, “I still don’t understand the difference between the difference between a real dad or legal dad or between Dad and Aaron.” 

“Why did you call him that? Aaron is your father and you shouldn’t be calling him by his given name.” Rebecca admonished. 

“He told me to.” he quickly responded. “I thought it was because he didn’t like me anymore after what I said about him. But, Dad said I should call him Aaron also.” 

“Whatever you said I’m sure it wasn’t that bad. I know Aaron loves you so very much. So what was it you said that was so bad you think Aaron wouldn’t like you anymore?” 

Sebastian’s head dipped as he attempted to hide his shame and embarrassment. Whispering, he said, “He heard me tell Dad that he wasn’t really my dad. And then I said I only wanted you and Dad to be my parents.” 

“Aaron, Robert and I are all three your parents. You live with your two dads who have physical custody of you. Before your first birthday I moved from Emmerdale and you came along with me. Before that you were staying with your dads because of my accident.” Rebecca started to explain. 

“Did they send me with you because they didn’t want me like Johnny said?” 

“Oh, Seb. They both wanted you. It was a bad time for all three of us then, because we all wanted you with us.” Rebecca thought back to the events and how they all made a mess of it when dealing with each other over Seb’s living arrangements. “I wanted you to live with Ross and me and Robert and Aaron wanted you to stay in Emmerdale with them.” 

This brought another round of questions for Sebastian to want answers for. He broke out into a thoughtful expression, asked, “Why do I call Ross by his name and not dad? And why should I call Aaron dad if he isn’t my dad? 

“Well….the four of us sat down when Ross and I decided to get married on how we would handle this very situation. We agreed that since Ross was going to be your stepfather you should call him by his name.” The simplification in Rebecca’s response was having the desired effect she wanted for her son. She could see the understanding develop and his acceptance of her answer. Rebecca continued, “You already know your biological father is your dad Robert which means you two are blood related just like you and I are blood related. Your father Aaron adopted you because he wanted to be your dad and wanted you as his son.” 

“It’s still confusing but not as bad.” Seb responded. He was still struggling with all the different types of “dads” he had in his life. It made him believe Aaron had been right about how he referred to him. It simplified the role of all three men in his life, but mostly it separated and simplified the rolls of the two men he lived with. It still left him with one question he wanted his mum’s advice on. “Do you think I should call Aaron by his name or Dad?” 

“I think you should call him Dad, but I also don’t know why your dads wanted you to call him Aaron. Let me talk to them and find out what is going on. Maybe they could explain it better for you. Sound good?” 

“Yeah. Thanks Mum.” Sebastian leaned forward to give his mother a hug for just a moment. He pulled back meeting her eyes. “Can I ask something else?” 

“Of course. I’ll try to answer it.” Rebecca smiled as she answered. 

“Why is my last name White and not Sugden-Dingle like Dad’s or Barton like yours?” 

“Your dad and I agreed before you were born your last name would be White. That is the same last name I went by before I married Ross.” She explained. 

“But shouldn’t my last name be the same as my mum or dad? Shouldn’t I be a Barton now or maybe a Sugden?” 

“That isn’t really the way things work. Ross is your step-dad, but you wouldn’t be a Barton.” she responded. Rebecca considered what options would be available for Seb’s last name. “I guess your last name could have been changed to Sugden-Dingle when Aaron adopted you. Is that something you want now you’re older?” 

“No. Not really.” Sebastian stated. He was disappointed he couldn’t have the same last name as his mother. Then maybe the boys he used to call his friends wouldn’t be able to tease him about not having a mum. “I just didn’t know why my name isn’t like yours or Dads. Hey Mum, don’t tell them we talked about any of this.” 

“Are you sure, Seb? I think it would be better for the three of you to be honest with each other.” 

“Yes. I don’t want to cause any more problems.” Seb explained. He left out the part that he feared this would give his dad and Aaron another reasons to fight. He leaned forward to give her another hug. “Thanks, Mum. I love you.” 

*********************************

Robert had explained to Aaron the reason for Rebecca’s call. They didn’t get much time to discuss in detail before Ross arrived with Sebastian. They agreed they would give their son the chance to open up first before asking him directly. Their hope was Seb would feel comfortable enough to at least mention his discussion with Rebecca. The alternative was to have a little talk with him just before they tucked him in for the night. 

Both men were standing outside the door to Seb’s room with Robert gently knocking before opening the door and entering. Robert asked, “You ready for us to say goodnight?” 

Seb nodded as he climbed into his bed and pulled the covers to cover his lap. He watched as Aaron pulled the desk chair out taking a seat. This worried Seb because he would normally take a seat on the bed opposite his father’s position. Robert though did sit where he did every night when they came to say good night. 

“Son, we wanted to talk to you about a few of the things you spoke to your mum about?” Robert explained. “You’re not in any trouble, but she mentioned you were struggling with some things and we just wanted to let you know it’s okay. And don’t worry, we aren’t mad.” 

“Did Mum say anything else?” Seb asked, his voice shaky giving away the worry building inside him. His eyes moved from his father to Aaron and back attempting to understand their expressions. He didn’t know what to expect, or didn’t want to see what he expected – disappointment and anger. Neither were present on either of his father’s faces giving him a moments reprieve. 

“Only that you’re worried you might be causing problems and both your father…I mean both Aaron and I want you to know that is not the case.” Robert explained. He smiled reassuringly at his young son placing his hand on his knee covered by the blanket for additional good measure. 

“Was that all Mum had to say?” 

Robert squeezed Seb’s knee gently. “Well, she did mention a few other things. Aaron and I need to apologize to you Seb. We didn’t explain any of this very good. From what your Mum explained to me, I think we’ve created a type of identity crisis for you.” he said. 

Seb again looked between his two fathers with his eyes and mouth scrunched up in confusion while he thought about what his dad meant. Finally, he asked, “An identity crisis?” 

Aaron leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees garnering Seb’s attention. He explained, “Not really knowing who you are or how you fit into our family. Calling me Aaron or Dad. And why you don’t share the same last name as any of your parents.” 

Robert added, “Seb, how you reference Aaron, it is your choice.” 

“I never meant for you to think it was because I don’t love you. It’s because I do love you so much I suggested it.” Aaron continued. His emotions were starting to get the better of him thinking he had failed Seb in the worst possible way. He wiped a tear that began forming before it had the chance to slide down his cheek. 

“It’s confusing isn’t it. People of all ages can be cruel and when you’re younger, those same people can be your friends. They were teasing you because you have two dads. I thought…well hoped if you called me Aaron it might stop your friends from teasing you.” Aaron finished. 

Robert took over after seeing Aaron swipe at another tear getting ready to spill over and hearing the wobble in his voice. “It is still your choice and we both will love you either way. That will never change. With the bullying and not completely understanding why we talked about you calling Aaron by his first name…is this why you started to question your last name of White?” 

Seb bit at the inside corner of his lip. Robert saw this as another of his son’s habits he had picked up from Aaron and again thought he is his father’s son; His son is Aaron’s son. Robert barely heard Sebastian speak when he responded, “Yeah, kinda.” 

“Did you understand why White is your last name and listed on your birth certificate?” Robert questioned. 

“Mum said it was because you both agreed before I was born.” 

“Yes, that’s true. And when Aaron adopted you, your mum wasn’t with Ross. You would still have her last name.” Robert thought for a few seconds on how to continue. He didn’t want to say this next bit for fear it would give Seb additional reasons for any insecurity it might bring. “When they did get married, the four of us never thought about what it might mean for you later that you didn’t share any of our family names. We all can sit down and talk about it if that is something you want.” 

Seb’s head dropped just a bit with his eyes lowered to look into his lap. He wasn’t sure how he should answer or even if he should answer. No matter what he said, he would probably get it wrong and upset one of his parents. He thought again none of this would be a problem if his mum and dad were together. 

Aaron cleared his throat getting both his husband and his son’s attention. “Seb, before you say anything I want to tell you something. Your mum and me weren’t really friends. There were some problems between us initially where we both made mistakes.” 

“Aaron, where are you going with this?” Robert interrupted with just a tinge of anger in his voice. He shook his head, all the while giving Aaron a look of disapproval. “I don’t think that was something appropriate to say.” 

Aaron continued without acknowledging his husband’s warning. “Things got really bad for your mum because of her brain injury and memory problems. This would be the second time she asked if we would care for you full time. It reminded me of the first time you lived with us after we realized the extent of your mum’s injuries and difficulties. She was so scared she was gonna lose you forever. I promised her we wouldn’t let that happen. We wouldn’t let anyone take you from her.” 

Aaron broke eye contact with Sebastian long enough to see Robert had relaxed some. When his husband gave a nod of acknowledgement, Aaron knew Robert was okay if he continued. “Rebecca…your mum and me talked early on when I brought you to visit her. We talked about that first time and the promise I made to her back then. She worried she might lose you permanently because of her health problems again. I wouldn’t let anyone take you away from her. She asked me if it was still an option for me to adopt you. Of course I wanted to, but I thought what this would mean to her.” 

“I don’t understand.” Sebastian said confused. “What did it mean for her?” 

“Your mum was giving your Dad and me full custody to protect both you and her.” Aaron explained as he looked between Robert and Seb. “It was one of the hardest things for her. I promised her again that you would always be a part of her life. And to reassure your mum I was sincere about my promise, I told her we wouldn’t change your last name. The two of you would always be connected by your family name.” 

Robert’s head whipped around to look Aaron in the eyes. He blurted out, “You two never said!” 

“I don’t even know if she remembers our conversation, it was so long ago.” He said to Robert. 

Aaron focused his attention back to Seb. “I changed my last name when I was younger to match my mums, your Nana Chas. I guess what I’m saying is having a different name didn’t make her any less my mum, but it helped me with who I was and how I saw myself at the time. Keeping your last name White instead of changing it would give you and your mum that same special connection. It was mainly to be a comfort for Rebecca knowing you were always her son and me adopting you wouldn’t change that.” 

Robert saw in his peripheral vision Aaron wiping tears from his eyes. He didn’t want to bring more attention to Aaron’s feelings and memories of that dark time in front of Sebastian. There was so much information for Sebastian to assimilate, but he didn’t want to just end it there with Sebastian seeing the upset for Aaron for this conversation. He felt compelled to wrap it up quickly for both Aaron and Sebastian’s sake. “Do you have any questions about any of this Seb?” 

Sebastian refocused from Aaron and his tears to his father. There were all kinds of questions floating around his mind, but many he didn’t know how to put into words. “I don’t know. Can I think about what Aaron said for a while? Then maybe we could talk about it again later?” 

Robert reached up placing his hand on Sebastian’s shoulder. Another gentle squeeze, he said, “Yeah, of course. You can always talk to both of us about anything.” 

“Or if you would be more comfortable talking to your dad Seb, I’d understand. It won’t change anything between us. I’ll still be here and love you just the same.” Aaron offered. 

Seb considered what his two fathers had said briefly before giving a gentle nod of understanding, then saying, “Dad, Aaron. I love you both.” 

Aaron heard the words and though Seb still called him Aaron, it stung less because he heard his son say he loved him. It no longer mattered that he didn’t say it earlier; he said it now and that was everything Aaron needed to hear. He walked over leaning to place a quick kiss to his head. Ruffling his hair, he said, “Love you too, kiddo! Goodnight.” 

Robert felt a well of warmth radiating through him watching the simple interaction between Seb and Aaron. It wasn’t a new thing watching the two as they said good night to each other, but he knew from the talk earlier it was something Aaron needed. It reinforced the idea the three of them were going to be okay as a family. He was proud of Seb and in awe of Aaron as a father. It gave him ideas for their future. And it was a bright future full of love and happiness for them all. 

Robert moved forward to embrace his son goodnight. He let go and tucked him into bed. Smiling, he said, “Good night, son. See ya in the morning and have pleasant dreams. Love ya!” 

Seb waited to close his eyes for his father to turn out the lights and leave the room. Once alone in the dark, he chastised himself for his thoughts earlier. It wasn’t fair on Aaron to wish his Mum and Dad were together. He loved Aaron the same as he loved his mother and father, but then he felt like he was turning his back on his mother. 

Seb heard the loud voices bleeding through the closed confines of his room. His dad and Aaron were disagreeing over something again. It wasn’t too far a stretch to know it was about him. He rolled over and tried to drown out the increasingly louder and angrier discussion. 

> “You wanted kids before. It’s been ten years Aaron! All this time and you’re just now telling me. What’s changed?”
> 
> “What does it matter? You got Seb back-“

Seb started crying into his pillow and tried blocking out from hearing anymore. It was always the same song lyrics he used. He didn’t know what they meant, but he believed some of the words and phrases fit his current sadness.

__

> _‘When the rain is blowing in your face_  
>  _And the whole world is on your case_  
>  _I could offer you a warm embrace_  
>  _To make you feel my love._  
>  _When the evening shadows and the stars appear_  
>  _And there is no one there to dry your tears_  
>  _I could hold you for a million years’_

____

He doesn’t know why and never asked, but his father played this song when it was just the two of them. His dad would smile like there were no worries in the world at the time. He also used it as a lullaby he would hum or sing to him when he was sad or not feeling very good. He wished his dad was there now, holding him and the two could sing together. It would be better than listing to his dad fighting with Aaron.

__

> _‘I could make you happy, make your dreams come true._  
>  _Nothing that I wouldn't do._  
>  _Go to the ends of the Earth for you_  
>  _To make you feel my love_  
>  _To make you feel my love...’_

____


	3. Can't Or Don't Want To?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This picks up the same night the previous chapter ends and continues into the next day.

_‘The future is all around us, waiting in moments of transition, to be born in moments of revelation. No one knows the shape of that future or where it will take us. We know only that it is always born...in pain.’_

Robert closed his son’s bedroom door behind him hearing the soft click as the latch took hold. Aaron was leaning against the door frame to their bedroom. Robert closed the short distance to mirror his husband to lean against the door frame opposite him. It was still early in the evening. They would spend a couple hours to themselves after Seb’s bedtime before heading to bed themselves. A nod of the head, a quick wink and devilish grin, Aaron entered their bedroom.

“You know seeing how you handled Seb in there has given me an idea. I think it’s time we start thinking about another child.” Robert suggested following Aaron into their bedroom and closing the door behind them. He wrapped his arms around Aaron from behind placing kisses along his neck before nibbling on his earlobe. 

Aaron moaned softly positioning his head to the side allowing Robert easier access to his neck. “You don’t really believe this is a good time, do you? Let’s get Seb sorted, then maybe we can talk about it. For now-“, Aaron mumbled slightly breathless. 

“I’m not saying we should go out and have a kid immediately.” Robert explained. He placed a few additional kisses in between nips along his husband’s neck before continuing on. “I want us to have an honest discussion and start exploring our options again.” 

Aaron wiggled out of Robert’s embrace stepping forward and turning to confront his husband. “We need to pause, Rob. Now is not the time.” 

“Is this still about that karma thing you were worrying over this morning?” he asked, his face pulled up in confusion and concern. He thought those concerns were addressed and resolved earlier in the day. It had been a struggle, but he believed Aaron had moved past his worry and was better just moments ago when saying their good nights to Seb. 

“Yes…maybe. Not really. Just leave it!” barked Aaron. He marched around Robert throwing open the door as he left the bedroom. 

Robert stood motionless after Aaron’s departure. Early on after they had married, there were heated discussion sometimes leading to arguments when one would walk away. Maturing together, they progressed beyond those arguments and faced any disagreement until it was satisfactorily settled. Warning bells went off inside Robert because Aaron wouldn’t retreat or hadn’t walked away in years. 

Robert followed after Aaron once he got his mental bearings straight in his head. He found him in the kitchen, beer in hand taking a healthy gulp. Aaron’s appearance and demeanor was a contradiction for Robert. There was an aggressiveness to his stance and his face could have been seen as angry. But his eyes told a different story for Robert. Aaron was scared. 

“I can’t, because it doesn’t make any sense. Any time I’ve brought up adding to our family you’ve found a reason to put it off.” Robert softly explained. He raised a finger with reason he recanted for Aaron. “We already have a full house with both Seb and Liv. After Liv moved out we needed financial stability. We had that with the two business, but you said we needed more. We both travel too much for work.” 

“Okay, you want a new reason…we’re too old to be discussing any more children.” 

“You don’t think I believe that do ya? Aaron, I’m gonna ask you a blunt question and I want an honest answer.” Robert asked, “Do you want to have a child of our own or even anymore children at all?” 

The two men stood across from each other separated by the table. Their eyes were locked in a silent battle of wills. Robert was almost mentally forcing Aaron to answer with Aaron being the direct opposite with defiance on his face, in his movement and his breathing. 

Timidly, Robert asked, “Aaron?” 

“No I don’t, okay!” he shouted. 

“You wanted kids before. It’s been ten years Aaron! All this time and you’re just now telling me. What’s changed?” Robert returned angrily, just as loud. He witnessed Aaron flinch and immediately regretted his tone and attitude. He saw the fear in Aaron’s eyes and he lashed out just like a scared, cornered animal. 

“What does it matter? You got Seb back-“ Aaron bargained. 

Robert at the same time said, “Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. We need to dial it back so we don’t disturb Seb.” 

Each man took deep calming breaths. Aaron’s head was bowed and shoulders slumped. Robert struggled to understand why this conversation had spun out of control. He couldn’t think of anything that would have his husband so closed off and defensive. 

“We got Seb back, Aaron. It wasn’t one sided, because you wanted him home with us also.” Robert spoke in a soft voice. He took a few steps to round the table to be closer to Aaron. Halting, he asked, “Hold on….was there more to that promise with Bex?” 

Aaron’s head whipped up glaring at Robert. “You really think I’d promise her something like that?” Aaron spit out. 

“That’s just it Aaron. I don’t know what to think! You kept the other a secret from me and spent the better part of the last ten years putting off trying for another baby. Why not this too?” There was a hint of exasperation in his tone. 

“Rob, just leave it for now please.” Aaron pleaded again. “I’m begging you. I can’t have this conversation.” 

Aaron moved to the living area skirting around the sofa putting another barrier between him and his husband. 

“Can’t or don’t want to?” Robert demanded. He swirled to face Aaron again. 

“They’re basically the same. I can’t because if I tell you, there is no taking it back. And I don’t want to, because when you know the rest of it, I’ll lose you. I’ll lose everything.” Aaron admitted. He was close to following this up with the truth. He forced himself to stay quiet; this secret could never be shared with his husband. 

Robert slowly moved closer to Aaron, but maintained the sofa as a peaceful barrier separating them. Robert ducked his head attempting to catch Aaron’s downturned eyes. Once contact was made, he said softly with confidence and reassurance, “Aaron, I love you. There is nothing you could say to me that would have me ever consider leaving you.” 

“You say that now.“ Aaron’s eyes began darting around the room avoiding Robert’s. He couldn’t explain to Robert, not now and not ever. Panicked he would break and tell all, he shakily said, “I gotta get out of here for a bit, go for a walk and maybe clear my head.” 

“We need to finish this Aaron.” his husband quickly retorted stopping Aaron from leaving through the door to the outside. “What happened to not keeping secrets from each other?” 

“Maybe later.” Aaron lied again, the second time in the same day. He was ashamed of himself, but didn’t know a better way forward. Aaron hurriedly exited their home. 

***********************

There was an unsettling quiet in their home with the exception of Adele’s ‘Make You Feel My Love’ softly in the background on repeat. Robert was working on preparing tea with Sebastian worked on his school work at the table. They had greeted each other when Seb had returned from school in the late afternoon. Then, neither spoke much instead focusing on their individual tasks. They would each catch the other staring off into space or sometimes even staring directly at the other. 

Robert could see the confused expression on his son’s face. He had questions and Robert was fairly certain what they would be. He had been thinking of how he would answer in between sending and making unanswered texts and phone calls. He wanted to save them all, but especially their son any additional amount of pain. The three of them had been through enough the last few days and Robert wanted to rewind and reboot before this had all started. 

“Where’s Aaron? Is he not eating with us?” Seb asked. It wasn’t unusual for it to be only two having dinner, whether it was Aaron and him or Robert and him. Their work would often require one or the other and sometimes both to travel over night at times. As much as he hoped Aaron was off on an overnight business trip he doubted it was the case. He had woken up early this morning seeing his dad sleeping on the sofa. When he returned to his room, he snuck a peek in the open door to his parents’ room and saw the bed was not slept in. 

Robert placed his son’s plate in front of him, then taking a seat at the table with his own plate. Lying, Robert said, “Aaron’s busy with work. I don’t think he’ll be home until later. Probably after you’re already in bed.” He didn’t like keeping the truth from Sebastian, but wanted to protect him from the drama he and Aaron were experiencing. He also didn’t know where is husband was. Sebastian had enough to deal with and didn’t need to worry about him and Aaron. 

“Dad, may I ask a question?” He took a few bites of his meal waiting for his father’s response. He had no doubts his dad would let him ask; he had never denied him before and there was no reason to believe his dad would this time. Seb wouldn’t normally wait for permission, just continue on with his question. The tension he felt returning home seeing his dad alone and Aaron not returning for dinner made him pause. 

“You know you can any time and I’ll answer if I can.” Robert encouraged. He offered his son a smile for further reassurance. 

“For as long as I can remember, we’ve listened to this song. You also used to sing it to me but I don’t know why.” Sebastian halted feeling a bit overwhelmed with the smile that developed on his father’s face. It made his dad’s eyes twinkle and highlighted the crinkles leading away on their outside. He had heard his Nana Chas call them laugh lines when Aaron had teased her about getting old and having wrinkles. 

“This will be a long story and I need you to promise me you won’t tell anyone about it. It will be our little secret.” Robert said remembering fondly the details of his and Aaron’s first wedding and then their reunion. “Can you do that for me?” 

Seb couldn’t answer verbally having just taken a bite of food so he nodded enthusiastically. His father was about to share something that clearly made him happy and at the same time it would be a bond for the two of them shared by no one else. 

“Before you were born I surprised your dad with a very special day. I thought it would help him and your Aunt Liv to know we were family and Aaron possibly being away wouldn’t change that no matter how long he was away.” Robert explained. He took a drink of his beer as he pushed away thoughts of how he had failed them both. “We had a wedding, but it wasn’t legal. It meant so much for both of us. You’re Nana Chas played this song. I remember it like it was yesterday. We danced for the first time in front of our family and friends hearing it.” 

Seb’s excitement deflated. The song he heard his entire life was special to his dad because of Aaron. And it wasn’t even like his dad was sharing some big secret with him. Their entire family had been there to watch them dancing to it. Although his excitement and enthusiasm was dashed, Seb focused on two things his dad that he didn’t understand. 

“Your dad and me, we ended up splitting up. Those were some really dark days for me after. And then I got the call telling me you were about to be born.” Robert smiled warmly at his son. “It’s another long story, but your dad…Aaron was the one to bring your mum to the hospital the day you were born. I told you the other night how he supported me. He told me I would be a brilliant father.” 

Seb remembered the conversation. Aaron had been a part of his whole life; he couldn’t remember a time when he wasn’t there. He recapped some of the other details he had learned recently that conflicted with what he thought he knew. It confused Sebastian on how Aaron fit in with his mum and dad. Was Aaron the reason his mum and dad weren’t together? As he attempted to put what he was learning in order, he father started speaking again. 

“I wanted to be the best father you could ever hope for. Your birth and Aaron’s support reminded me I had a reason to be a good person. I could put my dark days behind me and focus all my energy on you.” admitted Robert. “The first time Aaron held you, you were cranky and crying and wouldn’t calm down for me. You were about four months old. Less than a minute in Aaron’s arms and you were settled. A couple of weeks later I was standing in the living room at your Aunt Vic’s listening to this same song when Aaron started banging on the door. He gave me reasons we should be together again and I couldn’t say no.” 

“Did you get all mushy and start dancing like at your wedding?” Seb asked flashing an expression of disgust at his father. 

“Oh, no!” Robert exclaimed laughing loudly. “After I pointed the song out, he let me know in no uncertain terms it was not ‘our’ song.” Robert used air quotes when saying the word “our” as he rolled his eyes but continued to smile and laugh. “It was one day after our one year anniversary of being married.” 

“If it isn’t your song, then why do you play it so much?” Seb asked. It wasn’t the only question he had, but all the other questions that arose from this confirmation would need to wait until he gave it more thought and hopefully got more details. 

Robert thought about how to explain it to his young son. He didn’t think there was much he could say to explain it to him in a way for him to understand. Eventually, he said, “As you grow up, get older, there will be very special times in your life. Not that you haven’t already had special events already. The times I’m talking about are special because they change everything about your life in a way that gives you the best feeling inside. Just like the day you were born for me. There weren’t any songs playing, but it still turned out to be one of the best days of my life and I’ll never forget it. Adele’s ‘Make You Feel My Love’ will always remind me of Aaron loving me, accepting me, and wanting me to be a part of his life. Like you said, it is me being all mushy.” 

Sebastian scrunched his face up again thinking about his dad being all mushy about Aaron causing Robert to smile wider and laugh a bit louder and longer. He thought back to earlier and how quiet it had been. How quiet they had been before he had asked about the song. He didn’t want to like the song after he had learned why it was special for his dad and that it wasn’t anything special to do with him and his dad. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t not like it when it made his father this happy. 

“Dad, can I play video games before bed?” Seb asked. “My school work is done.” 

“Go on, but only for an hour.” Robert stated. “I’ll clean up, then check over your school work.” 

Seb bounded from the table heading for the stairs. “Thanks!” he exclaimed as he quickly ascended the stairs. 

“Slow down, young man. There’s no running, especially on the staircase!” he heard his father yell after him. Robert appreciated the distraction his son’s question provided him and the good memories he had shared in those earlier years with Aaron. They weren’t all good though which also reminded him of a quote from a show he watched as a child. The three of them were in pain, but Robert assured himself they would make it through to the other side. 

Seb shut the door to his bedroom behind him. He went to desk pulling a little notebook from the draw. After sitting, he thought about the discussions he had with his dad, mum, and with Aaron. He needed to remember everything they’d told him, all the clues, that would help him understand who he was and answer questions on how his three parents fit together. After writing down what he could recollect, he read over the details one last time before he would hide the notebook. 

_• Dad and Mum weren’t together_  


_• Dad and Aaron weren’t friends when I was born_  


_• Aaron helped Dad to want me, kept him from running away_  


_• Aaron and Mum weren’t friends_  


_• My last name is White because Aaron wanted to help Mum_  


_• Aaron was going away so Dad married him before I was born_  


_• Aaron and Dad aren’t legally married_  


_• Aaron took Mum to hospital so I could be born_  


_• I was about 4 months old when Aaron held me for the first time_  


_• Dad and Aaron got back together after Aaron held me for the first time_  


_• Dad and Aaron got back together the day after their one-year wedding anniversary_  


_• My birthday is November 9. Dad and Aaron’s anniversary is October 5_  


_• Aaron is legally my dad because he adopted me_

All of the questions Seb had he was struggling to put into context with these clues. He didn’t know how all of this could be tied together with him and what it all meant. The first strange thing he couldn’t stop focusing on was Aaron being his legal dad, but Aaron and his dad were not legally married. Then there was the big discrepancy on the date celebrating their anniversary and his birthday. There was only about a month’s difference between the two, yet his dad said they got back together when he was four months old just after their first wedding anniversary. 

***********************

He was leaning against the wall just inside the door watching his son sleeping. It was a habit he had picked up once Seb returned to live at the Mill with them. At first they both would look in on him before they would head to bed themselves watching the toddler for about a quarter hour ensuring he was restful and sleeping. 

It evolved over time with his waking up in the middle of the night just to double check everything was okay with Sebastian. The first few times he would head back to bed after he was reassured the child was still with them and sleeping soundly. It grew from there to an obsession which he could not let go of. He would lean or sit against one of the walls close to the bed watching over him for hours before sneaking back into the bed he shared with his husband. 

After weeks this behaviour took its toll. His husband was the first to notice his lack of energy and weight loss. When members of his family started to see the physical changes in Aaron, Robert had teamed up with Chas and Paddy to find out what the cause changing his appearance. Every attempt the three made to prompt Aaron to open up about what was happening were rebuked. 

Robert’s worrying effected his own sleep causing him to wake up and check on Aaron. When Aaron was still in bed, he would fall back into a slumber knowing Aaron was getting some much needed rest. It was when Aaron wasn’t in bed he would get up and look for him. Robert would find him either leaning against the wall or sitting on the floor in Sebastian’s room with an eagle-eyed focus on Sebastian. 

In those days, Robert couldn’t convince Aaron to return to bed or to explain why he was awake and watching Seb. The only reply Aaron would give was that he needed to watch over him. Robert began bringing a couple pillows and a blanket when he would wake and find Aaron, joining him in overseeing the child sleeping. 

Initially, they would sit arm and arm covered with the blanket with the pillows softening the walls they leaned against. One night soon after Aaron reached out for Robert’s hand entwining their fingers. Aaron would lean his head on Robert’s shoulder quietly crying. Aaron kept the reasons to himself. It would take less than five minutes after Aaron rested his head on Robert, that he would feel Aaron relax and fall asleep. 

A week later Robert began sitting down pulling Aaron in for him to rest his back against Robert’s chest. He would wrap his arms around him ensuring they clasped at least one of each of their hands together. Aaron’s tears didn’t return after they adopted this new position while watching Seb sleep. He would quickly drift off to sleep soon followed by Robert. 

Aaron stonewalled Robert whenever he broached the subject of their sleeping in Seb’s room. He also wouldn’t answer any of Chas or Paddy’s questions regarding the topic. Robert and Chas eventually developed a plan trying to force the issue. Seb would stay a few nights with his grandparents, another few nights with Nana Diane, and another few with Auntie Vic, and finally having a few overnights with Rebecca in Liverpool. 

Robert and Aaron continued to sleep in Seb’s room after Aaron had fought and lost an argument about Seb being too young for sleepovers. His first night back home, Aaron slept through in his own bed. He didn’t wake or if he did it was brief with Aaron falling back into a peaceful slumber. Aaron never did explain to Robert or his mum why he had behaved the way he had. His final word on the matter was he had worked through it with his therapist. They accepted this seeing that Aaron had returned to acting normal and sleeping in his own bed. 

Aaron was startled from those memories by a hand gently squeezing his own. He looked down seeing Robert sitting on the floor with pillows at his back leaning against the wall next to him. There was a blanket off to his other side. Robert’s head was tilted up resting against the wall. He gave a small nod to Aaron wanting him to join him. Aaron peered as deeply as he could in the darkened room into his husband’s soft eyes. It was déjà vu from all those years ago. 

Aaron settled himself leaning against Robert’s chest. After Robert had placed the blanket over the two of them, Aaron felt his husband lace the fingers of one of their hands together. The only movement they made was the slow, deep breaths from Robert. As his chest expanded, Aaron’s torso was lifted in response. Ten or so inhale and exhales later and their breathing had synchronized, soon mellowing and becoming shallower and natural. 

“I missed you last night when you didn’t come home.” Robert whispered attempting to be as quiet as possible to not wake Seb. 

“You were fast asleep on the sofa. I didn’t want to disturb you.” Aaron said softly. “I came in here and watched Seb sleep.” 

“Are you gonna tell me about last night?” Robert pleaded. He held tight to Aaron fearing he would break free and bolt from the room and house again. “I can’t understand what is happening if you don’t tell me.” 

“Not now.” Aaron calmly offered. “I think Seb’s upcoming birthday should be his biggest and best yet. I’d like to do all the planning if that is okay. I know we usually do it together, but this is important to me Rob.” 

“On one condition…you promise me you’ll explain why you don’t want one of our own children.” A tear slid down Robert’s cheek. He hated the feeling of helplessness when it came to Aaron. He also hated himself for being mad at Aaron for making him barter to find out what was going on with him. They had promised to be open and honest with each other. No secrets they said. Aaron’s demons from before had returned and he didn’t know what they were. If he had pushed the issue before, they might not be sitting in the dark of Sebastian’s room like so many years before. 

“I love you, Rob. Give me time and I’ll try to tell you everything.” Aaron whispered. He had made the decision while watching Seb the previous night. Robert was right the previous evening. They had committed to each other a promised of no secrets. “Even though you’ll never forgive me.” 

“That will never happen because I love you, Mr. Sugden-Dingle.” Robert placed a few soft kisses on the side and back of Aaron’s head. “Get some sleep now, please.” 

Robert felt Aaron’s body relaxing while hearing his husband’s soft, brief hum as he drifted out of consciousness. He tilted his head allowing it to make contact with Aaron’s. Letting go as much as he could of his fears for his family, he closed his eyes silently praying the three of them would be okay. Robert prayed their family would heal and they could continue forward happy like they were before. 

Sebastian rolled over barely opening an eye to look where he had heard his father and Aaron whispering to each other. He thought what it might mean Aaron staying awake the night before to watch him sleep. Was Aaron in his room when he had awakened earlier in the morning and he missed him? Or, had Aaron already left home for the day? 

These new questions became secondary for Sebastian as his mind drifted to Aaron wanting to plan the best birthday for him. He felt anxiety with how Aaron’s voice had a finality with his tone. He didn’t want to celebrate his birthday this year. Not when there were so many questions and a fear his dad wouldn’t love Aaron when he explained whatever it was he was hiding from his father. His last thoughts as he fought off sleep but failed was how he was angry with Aaron for making his dad unhappy and worried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a happy ending to this story, just a bit more hurt and sadness for the family to endure.
> 
> Thank you for the kudos & comments. I love receiving constructive feedback and hope you are enjoying this so far.


	4. I love you, you idiot!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A day in the life of Robert Sugden as he attempts to resolve the family issues for Aaron and Seb. While there are some successes, there are also a few setbacks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The person who reviews my work wasn't going to be able to check over until after the first of the year so I've went ahead and posted. Hope it is error free and flows with the previous chapters and more importantly, that you enjoy the story so far.

Chapter 4:

Robert’s bones and muscles hurt. He was a forty-two-year-old physically fit man, but four nights of leaning against a wall or laying on the floor in his son’s room attempting to sleep was something his body was revolting against. Mentally and emotionally he was struggling which was not helping his ability to sleep but compounding the problem. He knew he would continue to do it regardless of how he felt. He had to support his husband. Prove to Aaron whatever the situation, they were in it together. 

The first morning after Robert and Aaron had slept in Seb’s room, they had woken up to the child standing over them. The scowl he had given them made him smile at his young son. He had joked about him having ‘Aaron face’ just like his husband did most mornings. It was a misstep. Seb demanded the comment be taken back, insisting he wasn’t anything like Aaron. The entire situation between Seb and Aaron was brought back to the forefront with Seb’s yelling he couldn’t be anything like Aaron because he wasn’t his father before running from his room. 

Seb dug his heels in ignoring Aaron. Robert was stuck in the middle. Aaron wouldn’t allow Robert to talk to or discipline Seb about his behaviour explaining he was a child trying to figure out who he was. Aaron began overcompensating with the planning of Seb’s birthday. He offered ideas wanting Robert’s opinion, only to comment he was the one planning it when Robert would say something was too expensive or extravagant. He begged Aaron to keep it as simple as possible to no avail. 

Robert was avoiding any thoughts of the ten-year-old secret his husband has kept from him. No progress had been made on the Aaron front. When he wasn’t working or sleeping, Aaron’s every thought was about Seb’s party and how it would be the best birthday any eleven-year-old lad would ever want. Aaron even wanted to choose every gift for Seb’s birthday, forbidding Robert knowing or buying anything for him. One semi-heated discussion and Aaron compromised; Robert was allowed to choose one gift for Seb and Aaron was not allowed to know what it would be. 

Robert moved from the couch to the counter of the café. He needed another Americano to give him a much needed boost to his energy after the past few restless nights. He looked at his watch seeing he was about five minutes from the agreed upon time for him to meet with Paddy at the vets surgery. He grabbed the to go coffee and headed for the door leaving Brenda miffed with his lack of courteousness. 

At the surgery, Paddy steered Robert into the residency’s kitchen worried with how tired Robert appeared. After turning the kettle on and gathering two mugs for tea or coffee, he sat at the table opposite Robert. “What’s going on?” 

“Paddy, I was hoping you could help me with Seb’s birthday present.” Robert explained. He pulled his hand up to cover his mouth while he yawned. He took the last sip of his Americano before placing the empty container on the table. A quick glance at the kettle, he was desperate for another jolt of caffeine. “I’m looking for a German Shepherd puppy for Seb.” 

“Robert Sugden…have you finally given up this stubborn streak about no pets. Aaron’s gonna be well chuffed. Well, so is Seb. He’s wanted a dog for ages.” The veterinarian laughed standing and patting Robert on the back. He took a few steps to the counter. “Tea or coffee?” 

“Coffee, please. Do you really believe Aaron will be happy with a Shepherd pup?” Robert asked worried. He didn’t have much of a plan, only wanting a way for Aaron and Seb to bond again. He took the offered mug, blowing softly on the steaming liquid before taking a sip. He winced as the liquid passed his tongue and slid down his throat. 

“Is a puppy a gift for Seb’s birthday or for Aaron?” Paddy questioned returning to his seat. He looked over his son-in-law’s face; the dark circles under his eyes, the drop of his shoulders, and the quiver of his lips. His worry he felt seeing Robert when he first arrived was growing quickly. “You look terrible. Is there something going on at home I should know about?” 

There was silence in the room. Robert’s head ducked looking into the coffee Paddy had made him. It tasted horrible but he didn’t care. He stopped caring soon after he and Aaron had returned from their honeymoon. Their relationship had turned a corner and the animosity and distrust was gone. He hadn’t even realized it himself until Paddy had invited him over early on for his first cup of the worst coffee he had experienced. 

Robert broke the silence with a long sigh. Lifting his head, he asked, “How many times do you think someone can get lucky?” 

“Are you thinking of playing the national lottery?” said Paddy. He chuckled at his own joke. 

“I’m serious Paddy.” Robert took another sip from his mug. “Do you think someone like me who has done so much wrong can run out of luck?” 

“Have you done something wrong? Something that’ll upset Aaron?” Paddy blurted out. His body had tense and he was giving a look of disapproval to Robert. As he watched Robert slump lower into the chair he immediately regretted his questions and doubt. “Sorry. Sorry…that wasn’t fair.” 

“No, you have every reason to doubt me-“

“No, I don’t. Robert, you’ve proven to me over and over again Aaron was right about you. You’ve made some mistakes, but haven’t we all.” Patty interjected. He repositioned himself in his chair to distract himself from his unwarranted outburst. Refocused, he asked, “Start at the beginning and tell me what’s going on. We’ll see if it is as bad as you think and what we can do to help you.” 

“That’s the thing Paddy. I don’t know where the beginning is.” Robert offered, the exasperation clear in his voice. Did it begin with Seb and the recent bullying or was the secret Aaron’s been holding onto for ten years the beginning. 

“Is this about Aaron or Seb?” Paddy questioned needing clarification. “Yes. I mean it’s about both.” answered Robert. 

“Well, Vanessa said Johnny and Moses had been teasing Seb, but she and Charity had taken care of that I thought.” 

“She might of got them under control, but what about Seb? You know Seb said he didn’t want Aaron as a father.” Robert angrily explained. “We were getting past that, making progress or so I thought. But he’s turned on him again. Seb ignores Aaron, but then he’ll make some comment against him. Aaron isn’t helping much. He doesn’t want me to talk to or even discipline him. And the more Seb acts out, the more Aaron throws himself into planning Seb’s birthday.” 

Paddy’s face pinched, eyebrows drawing together. “That doesn’t sound like Aaron.” 

“No, it doesn’t. It’s like my Aaron doesn’t exist anymore; if he ever did.” he uttered. 

Paddy’s head whipped around to stare him down. “Robert, that’s not very fair.” the veterinarian defended. 

“Remember back when Seb came home-” Robert began explaining. He paused momentarily allowing Paddy to switch thoughts to all those years ago. “Aaron started sleeping in Seb’s room. That is when he did sleep.” 

“Yeah, he worked through whatever was bothering him with his therapist though.” 

“Aaron’s started doing it again. We’ve been sleeping on the floor against the wall the last four nights.” Robert sighed. Just saying it aloud made his bones and muscles ache more than they had. He thought it might be his mind playing tricks on him given the lack of sleep he’d had recently. 

“It’s probably because of what is going on with Seb.” Paddy provided with confidence. “You said Seb has been treating Aaron different lately.” 

“I don’t think so. It started after we had a row about having more kids.” Robert’s heart deflated. He had never felt so far from Aaron with this argument than he had before. He took another drink of the cooling coffee. Robert wiped a tear from his eye, said “Aaron doesn’t want to have any kids with me.” 

“That’s just silly Robert. You had a surrogate and were beginning the process before Seb came back.” chastised Paddy. “What happened with all that anyway? 

Robert thought back quickly realizing it was Aaron that talked him into putting it all on hold until everything got back to normal with Seb. “Aaron did. I remember now he talked me round to halting everything until Seb was settled. It seemed reasonable at the time. Then, anytime I brought up surrogacy or adoption, he’s had an excuse.” 

This revelation confounded the veterinarian. He was beginning to understand where Robert was coming from when he said Aaron wasn’t himself or more accurately not the same Aaron as before. “What’s …um, What’s Aaron said exactly? Why such a big change of heart, because he was so excited after you agreed to have a child through surrogacy together?” 

“I don’t know. He’s said he can’t tell me, because once I know the truth he believes I’ll leave him.” 

“I’m not being facetious Robert or doubting you,” Paddy began, “but is there anything he could say or possible do that would make it true? Would you leave Aaron?” 

“What? No of course not.” Robert retorted. He was bordering on being offended with Paddy’s doubt. He relaxed himself not wanting to make their discussion difficult and argumentative. “Aaron’s forgiven me all those times I messed up early on. It would be a bit hypocritical if I wouldn’t do the same for him. Do you…do you know something I don’t?” 

“Robert, I swear to you Aaron has not said anything to me.” Paddy reassured quickly. “Quite frankly, Chas and I were beginning to wonder about both of you and Seb. The three of you haven’t been to the pub now for about a week and even then it was just you and Seb at breakfast.” 

“It’s been difficult anytime they’re both together.” Robert gave a halfhearted explanation. “It’s been easier to just let the two of them do whatever they want away from each other.” 

The level of defeat Paddy heard in Robert’s voice was both alarming and disappointing. “Talk to him Robert. Do whatever you can to make sure Aaron knows you won’t leave him. How is his….has he been-“

“Self-harming?” finished Robert knowing where Paddy was going having those same worries almost daily this week. “No, at least I don’t think so. He’s not acted sketchy about his body. But this obsession over Seb’s flipping party, I wish I had never agreed for him to do all the planning. Do you think it could be like a new way for Aaron to self-harm?” 

“No, it wouldn’t be that. When Aaron first started cutting after Jackson passed I did loads of research online.” said Paddy. “I remember one site suggested finding other types of coping mechanisms. That’s probably what this is.” 

“What happens next week after the party?” 

“Let’s not bother ourselves with that just yet. For now, we should just keep an eye on him. Be encouraging and positive with what he is focusing on.” suggested Paddy. “If he loses interest and there isn’t some type of replacement, then we should worry.” 

“Yeah. Okay, yeah.” Robert trusted Paddy’s thoughts and suggestion so far for Aaron. He was reassured by Paddy’s confidence Aaron was directing his energy into something positive. He didn’t see it as Robert had feared as a possible self-harm or avoidance which he hadn’t even mentioned to Paddy. He asked with confidence, “Now do you have any fatherly advice on what I should do about Seb.” 

“You know what you need to do. You’ve already said it, Robert.” he knowingly responded. “But someone is holding you back from doing the right thing.” 

“You think Aaron’s wrong?” The idea confused Robert. It wasn’t because he believed Aaron was always right. He even disagreed with Aaron’s thoughts early on with how to handle Seb’s bullying situation. He had come around to Aaron’s thoughts and had seen progress with his son’s understanding before he suddenly changed. 

“I think you need to ask yourself a few questions.” 

“And those are?” quipped Robert. While he always trusted Paddy’s advice, he often would get frustrated with the riddles he employed to direct Robert in his quest for guidance. His lack of sleep and current emotional turmoil was not helping the conversation. 

“Why is Seb acting out the way he is against Aaron? What reasons do you have for not talking to Seb?” Paddy offered. “And before you answer, really think about them. You might be shocked with what you come up with.” 

Robert weighed each question with what had transpired over the previous week. It was simple. Seb was having an identity crisis brought about because of the teasing he had endured for having two dads. Seb was taking it out on Aaron because he was not his biological father. Not discussing it with his son was Aaron’s idea. It all seemed so simple to Robert, but why did Paddy tell him he would be surprised by the answers. Unless….the realization was not as shocking as Paddy had suggested. 

“It’s me. Isn’t it? I’ve failed them both. I’m so scared of losing my family I’m not doing anything. To get to the bottom of what’s bothering Seb and what’s changed I have to talk to him. Aaron tells me to leave it and I listen because I want Aaron to open up about what’s bothering him. I’m stuck in a vicious circle and I’m the only one that can put a stop to it.” 

“So you know what you need to do.” Paddy confirmed. “And Robert, you’re wrong about one thing. You are not a failure as a husband or father. Once you stop caring and stop trying to help those you love, then you would be a failure.” 

“Thank you Paddy. For the coffee and the advice.” Robert said while smiling in appreciation. Well, at least for the advice. The coffee was still another matter. Robert stood from the table and rinsed his mug in the sink. “I should go now. I haven’t even started work today.” 

Paddy joined Robert standing and walked him to the door. He placed his hand on Robert’s shoulder to hold him from leaving briefly. Once he had his son-in-law’s attention, he said, “Robert, it doesn’t have anything to do with luck. Aaron and you never stopped loving each other; even in the bad times. You might remind Aaron of that also, just like I’m reminding you now.” 

“Yeah, I will and know just the thing.” Robert explained with one of his signature smirks. His plan had no chance of failing giving him a feeling of invincibility. “Oh, the German shepherd pup?” 

“I got you covered, Robert. And I think it’s a brilliant plan to bring Aaron and Seb closer again.” 

Robert nodded acknowledging the vet’s understanding and confidence with the first part of his plan and original reason he had originally asked to speak to him. Two birds, one stone. Today was shaping up to be a bang up day! 

******************************

It was unusually sunny for an early November mid-afternoon. Sitting at a table outside the café enjoying an Americano when he should be working wasn’t exactly skiving. At least, that is what he told himself when he decided to leave work after about three hours. Robert wanted time to mentally prepare for what he was planning for this evening with Sebastian and Aaron. Everything would go as planned; everything must go as planned. There was no other possible outcome for him. 

“Robert, haven’t seen you out for a while.” Vanessa said as she took a seat at his table. “I’ve been wanting to touch base with you and Aaron. I’m so sorry for what Johnny and Moses put your Seb through. They’re still on restrictions for another three weeks.” 

“Another three weeks? Isn’t that a bit harsh?” Robert asked. He wasn’t questioning her parenting decisions, but was slightly concerned how their punishment might influence the lads behaviour later toward his son. 

“It was a compromise, wasn’t it.” Vanessa explained. She shook her head gently with an amused little grin. “I thought two weeks would have been sufficient, but Charity wasn’t having it. She said the boys were old enough to learn about the harshness of Dingle justice.” 

“Did she want to throw them out of the family?” Robert joked. He chuckled a bit too hard drawing a glare of rebuke from his friend. “Sorry.” 

“Charity wouldn’t budge from four weeks’ restrictions for Moses. I couldn’t justify only giving Johnny two weeks when he was the ring leader and primary instigator.” Vanessa ducked her head in shame and guilt with the admission. Her slightly older son had taunted and bullied her friend’s son; making it worse was his saying he didn’t do it for any real reason and it being just a bit of fun. That had angered her as much as what Johnny and the boys had said to Robert’s son. 

“You mentioned a compromise, what was it if both got four weeks?” Robert asked intrigued. 

“Oh, that was a stroke of genius on my part.” Vanessa proudly offered. “Each week the boys stay out of trouble they can earn a privilege back. This week when they weren’t in school, they were at home in their rooms without their phones, tablets or video games. If they mess up at any time, they lose any privilege they earned for the remainder of the four weeks and cannot earn them back. That last bit was Charity.” 

“What up with Charity? She was always the fun easy-going mum.” Robert couldn’t recall at any time after his return to Emmerdale and specifically his marrying into the Dingle clan of Charity being a disciplinarian. 

“Oh, Robert. That is a horror story.” Vanessa said with a mock grimace. “Let me get a coffee and I’ll be back. You ready for another?” 

“Yeah, thanks. Americano please.” 

“Like there is anything else on the planet you would drink…that is other than beer!” Vanessa teased. “Be right back.” 

Up the road, Robert saw the Hotten bus pull to a stop. He looked at his watch shocked it was already time for Seb to return from school. He hadn’t planned to be at the café most of the afternoon, but he was coming up on an hour and a half for his lazy Friday afternoon of planning. Vanessa was a distraction from that. It had been pleasant spending time with her and taking his mind off the struggles he faced that evening with his own family. 

Seb was the first off the bus already walking in the direction of home. Robert watched as Seb turned his head back toward the bus before he began jogging home. Kyle and Johnny were off the bus and standing together as it pulled away. The two spoke a few moments when Kyle left in the direction of Butlers and Johnny followed behind Seb. 

“Hey mate. What’s the hurry?” Robert hollered out at Seb getting his attention. His son slowed down and came toward him. 

“Well, hello Seb.” Vanessa greeted placing her and Robert’s coffees on the table. “Anything exciting happen at school?” 

“Thanks again, Ness.” Robert said already picking up the new Americano for a sip. Johnny arrived and stood next to his mother where she was sitting. “Hey, Johnny. Seb was about to tell us if anything exciting happened this week.” 

“Dad, do I have to? It’s embarrassing.” Seb whined as he walked to the other side putting the table between him and Johnny. “I’d rather go home and call MY mum!” 

Robert heard the emphasis on the word ‘my’ by his son. Johnny shrunk in on himself and took a step away from the table and behind his mother. Robert tried but couldn’t make eye contact with the young lad. Vanessa gave him a knowing look Robert took as her understanding he was embarrassed by Seb’s comment and the current situation. 

“Hey guys! What’s up?” Aaron asked taking a seat between Robert and Vanessa. 

"Your off early.” Robert commented. He had missed his husband approaching given the current tension because of the boys. 

“Just following the example of the boss.” Aaron teased. “And I’d like to get more planning done on that special thing I’ve been working on.” 

“What’s this? Is he planning a special weekend away for the two of you?” Vanessa asked, winking at the pair of husbands. 

“No, Aaron is planning my birthday party and I don’t want it!” barked Seb. 

“Sebastian!” exclaimed Robert. His son had already run off in the direction of their home. “I’m sorry for his rude attitude and behaviour. I need to go after him.” 

Robert was ready to stand when he felt Aaron’s hand on his knee. “I’ll go. Stay and finish your coffee.” 

Robert debated internally before finally nodding in agreement. It would give him time to cool off, think of his next steps and how he needed to change them with this latest outburst. “I’ll be along soon.” 

“Mr. Dingle, before you go I need to say something to you and Mr. Sugden.” Johnny mumbled. The young man stepped closer to the table. His head was still lowered, but he was making eye contact between the two men. “I’m sorry for how I treated Seb. I’m also sorry for how I made Seb think it wasn’t normal to have two dads. I didn’t realize at the time what I was saying was homophobic. I hope someday you won’t hate me anymore and you’ll be able to forgive me.” 

Aaron stepped around to face the repentant young man. He placed his left hand on Johnny’s shoulder and extended his right out offering to shake his hand. “Johnny, I’ll speak for Robert also, because I’m sure he’ll agree. You’re forgiven and we don’t and couldn’t hate you.” 

Johnny gripped Aaron’s proffered hand softly shaking it. He was overcome with warring emotions. Regret for needing to apologize and relief for the older man’s acceptance and understanding. Johnny tried and failed to stop a tear that had threatened to fall. He had been barely holding himself together until he heard those words. He wiped it away saying, “Thank you, Mr. Dingle.” 

Aaron nodded and smiled at Johnny releasing his hand. “We’ll see you around, okay Johnny.” 

“Aaron, when you get home ask Seb to give you his mobile. Tell him it is not optional and I’ll talk to him before he can call Rebecca.” 

“Rob-“

“Please, Aaron.” Robert implored interrupting him. He did not want to ask this of his husband putting them at odds on how Sebastian should be handled. The decision he made earlier Robert believed was the right one and if he was going to start this was as good of time as any. He received a confirming nod from his husband who then turned and headed home. 

“Mr. Sugden, I just wanna say I’m sorry again for everything.” Johnny offered again. “Mum, I’m gonna go home now.” 

“Okay, son. If you want, you can play video games when you get back. The controllers are in a shoebox on the floor in my wardrobe.” Vanessa stated. 

“Johnny, Aaron was right when he said we don’t hate you. Your apology and what you said was a very grown up adult thing to do. I’d like it if you would call me Robert from now on. That is if it is okay with Vanessa.” Robert explained. “All my adult friends call me by my first name.” 

Johnny and Robert both looked to Vanessa for approval. It was a quick smile and nod. Johnny stepped up to Robert and presented his hand to him mimicking Aaron’s actions from earlier. Robert accepted and they both gave a quick shake before releasing. 

“Thank you Mr. Sug- Robert.” Johnny turned and began jogging home leaving Robert and Vanessa alone with their coffees. 

“What was that about?” Vanessa questioned Robert. 

“Hearing Johnny say he hoped Aaron and I wouldn’t hate him reminded me of being a kid about his age when I was in similar circumstances.” he explained. “It was my way of letting him know there were no hard feelings. Each time he calls me by my name, it will be my reminder that he was a bigger man than I was today. I was worried he would retaliate against Seb for his punishment and I’m sorry for that.” 

“Speaking of…the horror story.” Vanessa grimaced. “Charity was livid when she found out what had happened. We went back and forth on what we were gonna do all last weekend. The boys were so contrite Friday night and Johnny was most of Saturday. Moses was spending Saturday with Ross and Rebecca. By Sunday evening, we got the sense they thought they were gonna get away with it all.” 

“What happened?” 

“Rebecca and Ross happened.” Vanessa stated. “I said Moses was with them last weekend. Rebecca filled Ross in on her and Sebastian’s conversation when he returned from bringing the kids back to Emmerdale. He called and said Moses hadn’t said a thing about any of it all weekend. Ross was more than a bit upset because of how this affected Rebecca.” 

“Rebecca called us as Ross was bringing them home.” Robert interrupted. “She was pretty calm when she explained her and Seb’s conversation.” 

“Don’t know. Maybe her problems with the brain injury had something to do with it. Anyway, Charity went off about what they did was an insult to your and Aaron’s marriage and relationship. She pointed out they were the same as Seb but they had two mums.” 

“Was that where Johnny’s idea of homophobia came from in his apology?” Robert asked. 

“Neither of us said that specifically. Today was the first time it’s been mentioned that way.” answered Vanessa. “This has all hit Johnny really hard. Not for being punished because he’s been generally okay with that. And there is this new rift between him and Moses now that Charity and I can’t figure out.” 

“Enough of the heavy.” Robert stated. “Seb’s birthday is coming up and Aaron is planning some huge party for him. Would you consider letting Johnny and Moses off restriction so they could attend?” 

“I don’t see why not. I’ll have a talk with Charity and get back to ya.” Vanessa asked, “What was that about with Seb being embarrassed about school. I wasn’t meaning to create more problems.” 

“It’s nothing really. Just an inside family joke.” Robert chuckled. “When Seb was younger and first started school, he would chatter away during dinner about his friends and the games they played. Then, Aaron and I noticed the conversation had shifted and started including his school work and what he was learning.” 

“Okay.” Vanessa half stated and half asked at the same time. 

“On one occasion everything Seb said about school was all about what he had learned.” Robert chuckled silently remembering most of the details. Smiling, he continued, “Aaron asked Seb if there was anything exciting at school with his friends or any new exciting games they played. I don’t know where it came from, but I asked Seb to tell Aaron that we weren’t sending him to school for excitement.” 

“Did he?” Vanessa asked excited. 

“He did. He turned to Aaron and with the most serious face said, ‘Dad, you’re not sending me to school for excitement but to learn.’ Aaron and I both busted out laughing.” 

“How cute. How old was he then?” 

“Five, maybe six.” responded Robert. “As he got older the three of us still discussed school during dinner but the conversations were brief. I started to miss those long dinner conversations when he filled us in on everything voluntarily without much prompting. So, I asked one evening if anything exciting happened at school. I didn’t think much of it. It’s just a parental thing to do.” 

“Right, okay.” Vanessa examined Robert’s face before asking, “Did Aaron get you back?” 

“Nope! Without any prompting from Aaron, Seb turned to me and said, ‘Dad, you don’t send me to school for excitement, but to learn.’ He had this glint in his eyes and the most devilish grin on his face. It was priceless. If only raising kids would stay so easy, hey?” Robert finished. There was just a hint of melancholy with his final statement. 

“Yeah, but just think you’ll have that great story you can embarrass him with when he starts bringing home girls. Or boys.” Vanessa encouraged. 

“God forbid that happens anytime soon.” Robert offered with a bit of horror on his face. “Anyway, that has become a kind of thing we do. Aaron or I will ask Seb the question every now and again and Seb drops the response like clockwork. Then we all get a good laugh about it.” 

“I would say you’re lucky Robert.” his friend offered. “But, luck had nothing to do with it. You and Aaron have created a wonderful little family and an amazing life together for the three of you. I’m shocked you and he haven’t had more kids, but the three of you should be on a poster for what a loving family should look like.” 

“Ignoring the current outburst from Sebastian about Aaron.” Robert moaned. Her comments had struck Robert right through the heart and brought back to the forefront Aaron’s decision to not want children with him. He tried putting the thought aside again not wanting to discuss even if Aaron explained himself and the decision he made. “Well, I should get going and get something for tea on the table. Thanks for the coffee and the chat, Ness.” 

The two stood and embraced for a quick hug. Vanessa responded, “Anytime Robert. And thank you for what you said to Johnny. He really is a good boy.” 

Releasing each other, they took off in their separate directions. Robert focused on how he believed he was lucky to have Aaron and Seb. Now, two very important people in his life had told him it wasn’t luck. The thought confirmed his confidence in what he had planned for the evening for his discussions with Aaron and Seb. Robert’s family was going to be fine and it would be the three of them that would make it work. 

******************************

Robert was sitting at the desk chair in his son’s room watching Seb playing video games. When he had entered Sebastian was already playing the video game. Robert had requested he finish up quickly so they could speak. Seb had acknowledged his father’s request with a simple nod. 

Robert waited and thought back to their meal earlier. It didn’t go as Robert had wanted or expected. There wasn’t that warm feeling of family as the three of them sat around the table. No matter how much Robert attempted to start a conversation, his efforts were met with grunts or one word answers from Sebastian. Aaron received even less from their son; Seb remained silent and wouldn’t even look in Aaron’s direction. Even Robert struggled to keep a conversation with Aaron and vice versa. 

Aaron did finally get Seb’s mobile when he returned home earlier. Seb had locked himself in his room not responding to any of Aaron’s request for him to unlock the door. When he finally emerged he had already spoke to his mum. when Robert told him it was time to eat. Aaron sent him back to his room until they were ready to eat. He had stormed off and slammed his door after reluctantly giving up his mobile. 

Robert had finishing up the after meal cleanup with Aaron sitting at the table making more plans for Sebastian’s birthdays. Paddy said Aaron was using their son’s birthday planning as a coping mechanism; a distraction from his using self-harm to deal with his emotions. He couldn’t talk to Aaron on what he had been considering while they sat in mostly silence while eating. The risks were too great to pull the plug on Seb’s party or at least not to tell Aaron just yet. That would mean he was not only keeping this from his husband, but he wouldn’t be telling his son either. 

A half hour later and Robert was frustrated bordering on angry. Finally, Robert snapped, “That’s long enough now. Please turn off the game so we can talk.” 

“Just a few more minutes.” Seb whined. He continued to play his game without even a glance to his dad. 

“What has got into you? I’ve asked you twice now.” Robert retorted. “Keep this up and you’ll be grounded for two weeks instead of just one.” 

“You’re doing this because of him.” Seb argued. He turned the game system off. “I want to talk to Mum.” 

“You’ve already spoke today. Against my direct wishes I might add. Locking your bedroom door and ignoring your dad just to call your mum. I wanted to speak to you first before you phoned. Why are you so mad at him that you would be this disobedient? This isn’t like you son.” Robert countered. He was disappointed with Seb’s outright defiance of Aaron. 

“I don’t want Aaron to be my dad anymore. I know it can’t be just you, me and Mum. But why doesn’t Aaron just leave. It can be the two of us.” Seb argued. He didn’t want Aaron’s big birthday party. He remembered the finality of how it all sounded that night in his room. His dad hadn’t left Aaron yet, but remained sad most of the week. Seb guessed Aaron’s secret hadn’t been revealed to his dad yet thinking Aaron would leave after the party so he didn’t have to share with him. 

“Why would you say something like that?” he barked at his son. “Aaron…your dad is a wonderful man. A very good and loving man. Even after everything, he accepted you as a part of our life when he asked me to come home. Since then he’s loved you like you were his son even before he adopted you.” 

The list Seb was compiling came to mind. Here was another piece he would need to add when alone. If Aaron accepted him and loved him like a son when his dad and Aaron got back together, how did Aaron feel about him before? He didn’t like where his mind was going with this question. The opposite of love was hate. Did the man he had called dad in one form or another hate him after he was born? Seb made a decision and knew what he had to do. 

“I don’t want to be adopted by Aaron anymore.” Seb’s lips quivered. He was struggling with what he had said even after saying it before. He wasn’t saying it because he had been upset with the bullying or because he was mad at Aaron like before. He also didn’t make the request because he was scared Aaron might leave or his dad and him might leave Aaron. 

There was an expression of shock and horror on Robert’s face. It took him a few minutes to digest what his son had said to him. Robert saw little lip wobble and the redness in his eyes. He jumped from the chair quickly moving to sit next to his son. Placing his arm around him and pulling him close, Robert begged, “Please don’t say that. It hurts me more than you can imagine hearing that. Can you tell me why you would want that?” 

“It’s just how I feel.” Seb explained, his voice barely above a whisper. 

“I lost my mum when I was fourteen years old. But, she wasn’t the one to give birth to me.” began Robert. He gave his son a soft comforting squeeze. “Pat, my birth mum died when I was a baby. The only mother I knew was Sarah. And she married my father, adopted me, raised me and loved me like I was her own. It’s the same thing Aaron did when your mum couldn’t care for you because of her injury.” 

“But Mum is still alive.” said the young lad as he turned his face up to his father’s. 

“Yes, she is. And Aaron isn’t a replacement for your mum, Seb. He’s downstairs planning a big birthday party for you and has been most of this week.” Robert explained wanting to be as encouraging as possible. “He wants to do that because he loves you. Has Aaron done anything to you for you to feel like you don’t want Aaron as a dad?” 

Sebastian struggled with wanting to answer his father and not wanting to explain why. Aaron hadn’t done anything that he could remember. He didn’t know how to explain it was because of the things he didn’t understand from before he was born and before his dad and Aaron were back together. He eventually lied, said, “No.” 

“Will you please do me a favour?” Robert almost begged. “Please don’t say anything to anybody about this…especially Aaron. The both of you are going through something I don’t understand. Maybe if the two of us talk about how your feeling we could get to the bottom of it, yeah?” 

“I guess.” Sebastian offered unenthused. 

“Now, I want to talk about Johnny.” Robert understood why Seb had acted out and said what he had. It was about the bullying from earlier. “Has Johnny said anything since last weekend?” 

“No, but he said I didn’t have a mum and I do.” 

“But has he apologized to you?” Robert asked. 

“Yeah, he did. But I don’t believe him!” Seb exclaimed. There was a defiance in his demeanor. 

“He apologized to your dad and me earlier. I believed him and I think you should too.” advised Robert. “What Johnny said was hurtful. He knows he was in the wrong and he’s tried to it up with you. If the shoe were on the other foot and you did something wrong, wouldn’t you want your apology accepted?” 

“I don’t want to be friend with Johnny anymore.” Seb stated with determination. 

“That’s not what I asked, Seb.” Robert countered. “And now I’m getting even more concerned because you don’t want Aaron as a dad and now you don’t want Johnny as a friend.” 

Seb pouted. He felt his dad was taking their sides when he felt his dad should be on his side. “I should be able to decide who I want to be friends with!” he argued. 

“Yeah, you should and can. But I think you need to decide how you would feel if someone you loved and was friends with decided you weren’t worth the effort and didn’t want you in their life.” Robert suggested. It was a feeling he was well used to experiencing and each time it happened it tore at his heart. “As for your misbehaving lately, I think it will be two weeks grounding. I’ll reduce it to one week if you’ll do a few things over the next seven days.” 

“What do I have to do?” Seb grumbled putting emphasis on the word ‘have’. 

“I want you to talk to me about what your feeling and help me understand why you’re acting out. I don’t understand this anger toward your Dad, but it stops now. Do you understand?” Robert stated. 

“Yes, is that all?” Seb asked cowed. 

“Not just yet. You need to apologize to both me and your dad because of how you’ve been acting.” he continued. “I’m not saying your feelings and thoughts about him are wrong because I don’t know where they’re coming from and why. We’ll work through that, but until then you need to be respectful because he is your dad and an elder. Understand?” 

He watched Seb nod accepting the direction he wanted for Aaron. “Because Johnny has said he was sorry and I believe he is sincere, you’ll accept it and forgive him. Vanessa and me or your dad will be there when you speak to him. I don’t want you to just say it because it will get you off a week early, but because you mean it and your actions show it. Any questions on all of this?” 

“Do I still get to talk to mum and visit her on Sunday?” 

“Seb, I’d never stop you from talking to your Mum. Your mum needs routine and part of that is your weekly visit on Sundays." Robert reassured his son. “However, tomorrow we’ll call her together and you’ll explain you are grounded and why. From there the three of us will discuss what she thinks and if she thinks if the restrictions and grounding would apply to her house.” 

“What restrictions?” Seb asked. He wasn’t happy his punishment was getting bigger. 

“When I leave tonight, you’ll give me your game controllers, tablet and computer. We have your phone and you can use it with either Aaron or myself present when you call your mum. And, the only television you can watch is with me or your dad in the living room and that is limited to two hours a day.” 

“None of this is any fair.” Sebastian grumbled. “What am I gonna do with no phone or WIFI?” 

“Put in extra time on your school work. Reflect on what got you to this point.” Robert had an idea to help bring his family back together. It would also help redirect some of Aaron’s focus without compromising what the party planning was helping with. Another benefit would be for Seb; show him the importance of family while also reminding him about how much Aaron loved him. “And you could always ask your dad and me to go old school and play a board game with you. The three of us used to do that all the time when you were younger.” 

“Board games?” Seb asked and mocked at the same time. “They’re so boring.” 

“Well I guess that is something. You think the games are boing and not your dads!” he teased. The lighthearted response did garner a smile from his son. “One more thing and then you can get ready for bed.” 

“What?” 

“Your dad said it was okay if you called him Aaron and I agreed with him. You said earlier you didn’t want him as your father.” Robert confirmed. “I’d appreciate it if you would call him dad again. Not to force you to accept him or to punish you for saying that.” 

“Is it another condition for me to only being grounded for one week?” moaned Seb. 

“No, this is something purely for me.” He explained, “It’s still your choice, but it does give the two of us a connection beyond father and son. We have something additional in common because we were both adopted by someone that loved us enough they wanted us to be their son.” 

“So this is important to you and would make you happy?” 

“It is and it would.” Robert answered. “But, this is something I want you to decide. I won’t be disappointed if you still call you dad Aaron. We both agreed you could. Think about it.” 

Seb nodded and gave his dad a hug. He still didn’t want to call Aaron his dad. He needed to understand why he hated him in the beginning and until he could figure that out, he still wanted to not be his son. 

“Get ready for bed and I’ll be back up soon to get the controllers and say goodnight.” Robert said before placing a kiss on his son’s head. He released him leaving his room to head to the first floor and the table where his husband would still be working. 

Robert had just stepped off the stairs when he watched as Aaron turned in his direction. 

“Everything okay with Seb?” 

“Yeah, well he’s not too happy with me I don’t think.” Robert stated. “I couldn’t let it go on Aaron. He’s grounded and on restrictions for two weeks. And before you remind me that you asked me to just leave it, there was that stuff earlier with Johnny. 

“Okay.” Aaron responded without any argument and little emotion other than acceptance. “So, how long and what restrictions?” 

“That’ll keep til later.” Robert stated making his way to stand next to where his husband was seated at the table. “First, I have something for you.” 

Robert reached into his pocket pulling out an object and placed it on the table in front of Aaron. He saw a confused expression on his husbands face as he just starred at the object in front of him. 

Aaron picked the watch up turning it over and examining it closer from many angles. After he didn’t notice anything significantly different, he asked, “What’s this for?” 

“A reminder and a promise. You returned this to me on our wedding day saying I never really lost you. I’m giving it back now as proof you won’t lose me.” Robert explained to his husband. “Tell me or don’t tell me…I’m not going anywhere and neither is Seb. I’ll be in our bedroom and I’d love for you to join me when you’re ready to go to sleep.” 

Robert reached out placing his hand on Aaron’s shoulder resting his thumb on his neck. Without realizing it, his thumb began softly massaging along Aaron’s neck just below his hair line. He bent forward bringing his lips into contact with the side of his husband’s forehead. A few seconds later he straightened up and brought his other hand to Aaron’s face. He smoothly moved his hand turning and lifting Aaron’s face in his direction. Leaning over again, he brought their lips together giving him a soft, sweet and chaste kiss. 

“I love you, you idiot! You are the best husband I’ve ever had, Aaron. And I’ll always love you. Don’t stay up too late planning this party.” Robert whispered as he rested his forehead against his husband. He straightened again after a half dozen seconds and moved toward the stairs heading to their bedroom with the hope Aaron would join him and not stop over in Seb’s room again.

Aaron watched as Robert ascended the stairs until he was out of sight. He turned the watch over to read the familiar engraving he had placed on the back. Robert had given him the only two options available. He could tell him or not tell him. His decision was easy; he couldn’t hurt his husband. Aaron muttered to himself, “I love you too, Rob.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted this tweet a few days ago as a tease to my followers that are reading this current story....
> 
> "Yesterday's squirrel moment has me really excited for the next chapter (Chapter 4). It's a big deviation from what I had planned and written up til then. It's something I'd love to watch play out on screen and not as some deleted scene." 🤪🤣
> 
> A bit of play on words and hints from previous episodes. I thought it was cute and clever of me as I tease my dear friends. I truly hope my dear readers enjoyed the reference in the story back to the wedding episode. 
> 
> Comments and likes are always welcome as are any and all constructive feedback. 
> 
> I was already excited about this work before I first posted chapter 1, but you my dear readers are enhancing the excitement I have for this and I do hope you will continue this journey with me until the end.


	5. "Like Father, Like Son"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's two days later and Sebastian's restrictions have had an impact on Seb, Robert and Aaron. A secret is partially revealed without realizing it and the consequences are just beginning.

Chapter 5: Like Father Like Son

“Johnny, I need to tell you I’m sorry for how I acted and for not accepting your apology.” Sebastian stated with his father standing behind him. “It wasn’t fair to not believe you.”

Johnny turned to his father wondering if what he had said was acceptable to meet one of the conditions he had laid out for reducing his grounding from two to one week. He wasn’t convinced his dad was impressed with his effort. His father’s expression was closer to neutral than happy or proud which was what he was hoping for. Seb was confident though his father didn’t appear disappointed or angry. 

“Ms Whitfield, I’m sorry for my behaviour the other day at the café.” Seb added with a hope this additional measure would help with gaining an edge in his father believing he was truly contrite and sincere. 

“Thank you, Seb.” 

“Mum, can Seb and I go upstairs and play some video games?” Johnny asked as he stood up. He was facing his mother with pleading eyes and his hands clasped in front of him in prayer. He was getting ready for the hard sell when he heard Sebastian shuffling from behind him. 

“My dad won’t let me play any video games until I’ve finished with being grounded.” Seb commented. 

“I don’t think it would be appropriate right now. We need to respect Robert’s decision.” Vanessa responded. She was ready to give permission until Seb had stepped forward. She watched as Johnny’s disappointment became apparent. 

“Not sure what you have planned Ness, but I thought we might get a coffee and visit if you were free.” Robert interjected. “Maybe instead, we just stay in if you have nothing on and let the boys play their games.” 

“Yeah. If you’re sure, sounds good! Seb, would you like something to drink?” asked Vanessa. She headed for the kitchen putting the kettle on for her and Robert. 

“No thanks.” 

“Let’s go Seb.” Johnny said enthusiastically as he turned to take the steps two and a time towards his room. 

“Go on up, Seb.” Robert prodded. He waited until Seb turned and slowly walked up the stairs. Once he thought he was out of ear shot he turned to Vanessa. “Ugh! Mind if we have something stronger.” 

“If you want…is everything okay?” Vanessa went to the refrigerator retrieving two beers, handed one to Robert. “What’s going on?” 

Robert gulped the beer, downing almost half before coming up for air. “It’s Seb. I asked him to give Johnny a chance, accept he was sorry and apologize for his own behaviour. If he did that and a few other things, he would only be grounded for one week. Not sure what he’s playing at, but that was an epic fail in my opinion.” 

“Then why’d you agree he could play video games with Johnny if he’s restricted?” asked Vanessa. 

“I hoped it would get him to open up. I thought I was doing the right thing with grounding him, but he’s even more isolated than he was before.” explained Robert. “Maybe he’ll let go and Johnny will help him out of this rut.” 

“So, you’re using my son?” argued Vanessa. 

“What…no…not really….” stuttered Robert. “Damn it! Yes, but that is not what I was intending. I’m so sorry.” 

“Like father, like son!” she teased. She winked at Robert then broke into a fit of giggles. 

“None of this is funny!” Robert fumed. “What are you laughing about?” 

“Paddy told us about your idea using a puppy to get Seb and Aaron to bond. You think Johnny will help Seb out, so you disregard his video game restrictions.” 

“I said I was sorry about that.” Robert quickly stated. 

“And you don’t believe your own son was being honest with his apology to Johnny” continued Vanessa. “It is just as I said; Like father, like son.” 

Robert thought on what his friend had listed out. He was baffled by what the connection was for Vanessa to make the comparison. 

“Would you stop fretting over it!” Vanessa ordered. “It was a joke. When Paddy asked for Rhona’s and my help with finding Seb’s present and the reason for it. I said something about your plan and he filled us in on an old story about you.” 

“This should be good. What did my dear old father-in-law have to say?” he asked already fearing the worst. It wouldn’t be anything incriminating, the two of them had left all of that in the past after they had cleared the air. 

“Let me just say, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, Mr. Shifty.” Said Vanessa laughing. “Mr. Shifty Junior is up there playing video games now after giving an apology that didn’t meet your standards. And you’re wondering what he is up to.” 

“Well, when you put it like that…” Both Robert and Vanessa broke out into laughter. Only Robert’s laughing wasn’t as robust as it could have been. He wasn’t holding back on purpose. He was thinking of what Vanessa’s little joke might really mean. Was there truth in what she was saying? Was his son developing bad habits with some kind of example Robert had set or was Seb doomed to follow in his footsteps because of their common DNA? 

Their laughter began to subside. Robert was plagued with these new demons and doubts. He told himself he wasn’t that same man from all those years ago. He had worked to be a better man for his son and his husband. Though he made mistakes, many mistakes since Paddy had dubbed him Mr. Shifty, he was given that second chance with Aaron accepting him and his son when they reunited. He repeated the mantra he used when he doubted himself. The manta given to him by his brother, ‘Aaron makes you a better person’. 

“I would have done the same if I were in your shoes.” Vanessa admitted. “Seb’s apology may not have been what you wanted and he may not mean any of it, but putting the two boys together I think will break the ice. Soon, Seb and Johnny will be friends again.” 

Robert weighed Vanessa’s statement and optimism regarding their sons and the outcome. If she was right, then maybe the ‘shifty’ plan for Aaron and Seb to bond over a puppy was not as farfetched as he originally thought. She had unknowingly given him hope and allayed his fears enough about his shifty past to lessen the worry Seb was doomed to grow into a mini version of the person he used to be. 

“So, what do you think is going on up there?” asked Robert. “It’s been quiet, so guessing there are no fights going on. 

********************

“What game do you wanna play?” Johnny asked turning on the television and grabbing the remotes.

Sebastian took a seat on the bed away from the television and game. He glanced over at the offered remote Johnny held out. He wasn’t interested in playing games as much as he wanted to. At least not with Johnny. He had met one of the conditions imposed on him by his father. “Go ahead without me.”

“Robert said you could play while he and my Mum talk.” 

“I visit my Mum on Sundays.” Seb whispered. “I didn’t get to go today.”

“Do you think it’s my fault?” asked Johnny. He hoped Seb would tell him it wasn’t. If Seb stated he was to blame, he would accept it and attempt to make it up to his friend. He missed the two of them spending time together.

“It doesn’t matter.” mumbled Seb. “Mum and Dad decided I don’t get to see her this weekend.”

“There’s next weekend.” Johnny hopefully stated. He crossed the room to sit next to his friend on the bed.

“Aaron’s big birthday party for me is next weekend.” responded Seb. He didn’t want anything to do with the party. He wanted to ask why Aaron was putting so much importance in his 11th birthday. The answer he would get was what kept him from broaching the subject.

“You did that the other day. Called your dad Aaron. Is that because of me?”

“I don’t want to talk about it!” Seb demanded. He couldn’t talk about something he couldn’t comprehend. He had felt a shift in his home over the past few weeks starting with the events leading to Aaron letting Seb call him by his given name. His real dad wanted him to call Aaron dad again, but he was scared to. He thought back to Aaron’s voice the night he asked Robert to let him plan it. The finality he felt hearing Aaron; something bad was happening at it would come to a head once his birthday party was over. Seb just knew it.

“Do you wanna play instead?” Johnny extended the controller to Seb again.

“Nah. I’ll just sit here ‘til Dad is ready to go.”

“Are we okay? I mean, we are friends again aren’t we?” Johnny held his breath fearing the response he would get.

Sebastian turned to face Johnny head on assessing him. There was the question he didn’t want to answer. If they were friends again, he wondered if Johnny taunt him later. If he answered no, would he regret it because then he was certain to be taunted. Seb was still angry with what Johnny had said. He wanted to be friends because he needed someone he could confide in like before. Eventually, seeing Johnny squirming, he answered, “I said I was sorry, didn’t I?”

Disappointed, Johnny said, “Yeah, but it feels like you don’t want to be here.”

“I don’t. I told you I’d rather be with my mum.” he explained. He wasn’t to get away from the question; the pleading in Johnny’s face was too much for him to cope with given the more pressing problems of Aaron and his birthday coming up. “I only said I was sorry because my dad thought it was important. I don’t know yet if we can be friends.”

“Seb, I’m your friend whether you say we are or not. I won’t let you push me away.”

Seb reached across taking the game controller from Johnny. He nodded understanding of Johnny’s declaration. He still didn’t know what to expect, but maybe having him onside whether he considered Johnny a friend or not would help take his mind from his other problems.

******************

“You’re sure Rebecca will be fine.” 

“Yeah, she managed good enough today.” Ross’s voice echoed from the mobile speaker. The phone was sitting on the table as Aaron was working in the kitchen. “And I’ll be taking time off to help out.”

Aaron turned to the sound of the door opening watching Robert walk in. He grabbed his mobile and turned the speaker phone off. Bringing it to his ear and mouth, he said “Great, and thanks for doing this.”

“This means a lot, you offering. I should be thanking you.”

“I’ll have everything set. Unless something goes wrong, we’ll see you all Saturday. Seb’s party is at 10 AM.” he responded. He watched as Robert walked into the kitchen area taking a seat at the table where his plans were laid out across the table top. 

“Great! We’ll see you then.” 

“Talk to ya later.” Aaron closed before disconnecting the call. He started gathering up the different papers with plans for Seb’s party.

“So what are you gonna have all set? More surprises for Seb’s birthday?”

“Something like that.” Aaron stated. He was wanting to keep some of the activities he had planned a surprise for both Seb and his husband.

Robert picked up and scanned on of the few remaining papers with Aaron scribbles. It was a list of vendors and their phone numbers. Some were crossed through while others had big circles around their name. Robert saw additional numbers to the side; 75 Pounds, 35 Pounds, 850 Pounds. “Do you not think we are going overboard?”

“No I don’t.” Aaron answered snatching the paper from his husband’s hand. “And where is Seb? You have him on restrictions; shouldn’t he be here?” 

“Seb’s at Vanessa’s. He’s hanging out with Johnny.” 

Aaron’s head shifted up from his paper organizing to focus on Robert. He asked, “So the apology went well.” 

“Not what I wanted, but Vanessa said something about the boys hanging out should get them past this.” Robert explained. He stood from the table making his way around to stand behind his husband. He placed his hands on Aaron’s shoulders giving him a soft massage. “I thought it wouldn’t hurt to let them spend the afternoon together, freeing us up to maybe spend the rest of the afternoon together.”

“It’s nice to be told.” Aaron mumbled as he ducked from his husband’s massage. He left the kitchen heading for the stairs.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Robert jumped from sitting following Aaron.

“Nothing.”

He stepped in front of Aaron blocking his way to the stairs. “No, Aaron! You can’t just drop something like that and then not explain it.”

“Rob, you keep making these decisions without me. You say were a team when it comes to Seb, but it was you who grounded him after I asked you to let it all go. Then, you and Rebecca decide he couldn’t spend the day in Liverpool. And now you’ve unilaterally decide he can spend the afternoon with Johnny. What kind of message is this sending him?” Aaron questioned.

“You wanna talk about teamwork!” Robert demanded. He squared himself up against his husband. This was not what he had planned for the afternoon, but what Aaron had said didn’t set well with him. He felt like a trapped animal on the defensive. “Aaron, you’ve excluded me from everything about Seb’s birthday. I don’t even know what all you have planned. All you keep saying is you want this to be his best birthday yet.”

“There is nothing wrong with him having a great day.”

“I’m not saying there is, but I don’t understand why all this extra effort. I thought all this focus was because we argued about more children, but there has to be more to it than that.” Robert retorted. “Everything that has gone on with Seb recently, everything you’ve done…it is almost like you’re trying to buy Seb’s love. You don’t need to Aaron.”

“You really think I would do that?” Aaron responded. There was horror stretched across his face thinking his husband felt so little of his motives.

“Why else would you be overcompensating?”

“I’m not overcompensating!” Aaron bit back. “Maybe I’m doing it for the two of us as much as I’m doing it for Seb. Did you ever think about that?”

“Us?” Robert pondered what Aaron could mean. Finally, he asked, “What would we need for an over the top party for our son?”

“It’s not over the top, Robert! This party was to bring us all together as a family.”

“We are a family, Aaron. Nothing is gonna change that. Not even your secret.” Robert softly explained. He took a step forward wanting to defuse the situation. He tipped his head to catch Aaron’s eyes. “I told you I don’t need to know. And I never meant to exclude you from parenting decisions about Seb.”

Robert kept eye contact with his husband. He watched concerned with whatever internal conflict Aaron was having. As the moments passed, the only sound he could hear was the ticking of the clock above the mantel while the conflict drained from Aaron’s face to be replaced by a vacant stare. Robert didn’t see his husband in those blue eyes; and he doubted Aaron was seeing him though he was right in front of him.

“You ever think if our baby survived, the two of us would have played favourites with the kids?” Aaron asked. “Your boy, Seb, versus my child. The two of us recreating the old Sugden family feud of you and Andy.”

There was no emotion or inflexions to Aaron’s voice. It registered to Robert as dead, matching the current lifeless eyes of his husband. Stunned, Robert whispered, “Aaron, what baby?”

The trance Aaron had been stuck in moments ago faded. He saw the confusion and hurt in Robert’s face and immediately regretted letting go of the control he had attempted to develop and keep hidden the one thing he believed would tear them apart.

“I’m sorry Rob. We’ve each kept things from each other, but this one, this secret is unforgivable.” Aaron wiped his cheek with his hand covered sleeve. Stepping away from the intensity of Robert’s gaze, he explained, “I’ve lived with this for years hoping this day would never come. I let the thought of Seb tear us apart before he was even born, and then after losing our baby I just knew it was full circle. My punishment for-“

“Karma?” Robert interrupted. “You’re gonna blame this on karma?”

Aaron sat in the solitary chair next to the sofa. Bowing his head and focusing on the empty space between his shoes, he continued, “I didn’t want to replace Seb, but I was hoping for a boy. Seb came home and we were so happy. I didn’t wanna take focus off him just because we were having our own child. Seb was gonna have a little brother or sister, but I was secretly hoping for a baby boy. I was gonna suggest Philip Robert Nathaniel Sugden-Dingle. It had just the right ring to it. And then my doubts took over, got the better of me-“

“Doubts?”

“I can’t talk about this….not right now.” Aaron quickly answered. He was fully off autopilot and back into control of his thoughts and comments. He shifted around Robert as he took the first step to the second floor and their bedroom. “Please don’t think I blame any of this on you or Seb. It’s all my fault.”

“Aaron.” Robert explained as he whipped around to see Aaron stop about the third step up.

“Don’t…please just don’t.” Aaron begged. There wasn’t anything more he could say then that would make any of this right. The secret was out because he got lost in a moment of weakness. “I’m gonna head on to bed. Tell Seb goodnight and that I love him when you tuck him in. Yeah?”

Aaron ascended the remaining stairs not looking back. He didn’t want to stay and explain, couldn’t because anything he said would never be good enough. There was no return after almost ten years of lying and betrayal.

Once Aaron was out of sight Robert crossed over to the sofa taking a seat. He rested his hands against his face hiding the tears rapidly streaming down his reddened cheeks. He thought about the long overdue mourning for a child he didn’t know had been on the way. He didn’t know the details or even understand why Aaron had not told him. Then, he thought of Aaron and him carrying this tragedy alone all this time.

Philip Nathaniel Robert Sugden-Dingle did have a nice ring to it. He imagined he and Aaron sitting in the garden with a blond haired blue-green eyed boy playing with his little brother with a head full of dark curls with blue eyes. Seb and Nate, both brothers and best friends. Roberts tears streamed faster down his cheeks and his soft cries echoed quietly throughout the room.

*********************

Sebastian was ready for bed, his legs already under the blankets waiting for his dad and Aaron to tuck him in for the night. He didn’t know if Aaron would be with his dad like usual because he hadn’t left their bedroom the entire time he had been home from Johnny’s. It was an uneasy evening with his dad giving short one word answers or grunts. Something had preoccupied his father and Seb was worried their lives were starting to fall apart. 

“Ready for bed?” Robert asked as he entered his son’s room. Watching his son nod, he continued, “I’ve been trying to come up with the best way to address something about today.” 

“Is this about you and Aaron?” Seb asked timidly. 

“It’s about the three of us.” Robert stated as he took a seat on his son’s bed. “Your dad made me realize something I hadn’t considered about your punishment. I’ve not been consistent with your restrictions and it might have been confusing. I shouldn’t have let you play video games with Johnny earlier.”

“Is that why Aaron stayed in your room all night?” Seb questioned.

“Yes and no.” he answered his son. “There’s more to it that you’re a tad young to understand.” 

Seb felt an unbearable sadness with the sound of his father’s response. It tore at him knowing his father was not in a happy place like he usually was. He had seen and heard his dad be sad, but this was something much larger than he had experienced before. It increased his worry and fear something bad was happening and knew in his heart it was all down to Aaron. He all but confirmed it when they started the conversation when he said Aaron pointed out problems with how his dad was handling his grounding and restrictions.

“Dad, are you gonna be okay?” asked Seb. He pulled himself from his covers and scooted next to his father.

Robert felt his son’s movements in the bed first before feeling Seb sit close enough to place his head on his arm. He lifted his arm placing it around his son and pulled him closer. He leaned his head down placing a kiss on his head. This small gesture from his son and understanding Seb was in tune to his own feelings had him tearing up again.

“I’ll be fine.” he answered. “We all will. You don’t need to worry Seb, because your dad and I love you. The three of us will be okay.”

“Dad, I’ve heard you and Aaron fighting after I’ve gone to bed. Did you have another fight today?”

“You shouldn’t have heard any of that Seb. I’m sorry that you did.” Robert responded. He had worried he and Aaron’s disagreements may have been loud enough to disturb his son after he had been put to bed. Having that confirmation tore him apart. He felt like a failure as a father. “Sometimes adults have loud conversations-“

“I’m almost eleven years old.” interrupted his son. “I know the difference between a loud conversation and two people fighting and yelling at each other.”

“I was gonna finish by saying your dad and my loud conversations doesn’t mean we don’t still love each other and you.” Robert finished. “And yes, we have had a few arguments lately.”

Though Seb felt anger with Aaron for how he made his dad feel, his curiosity and even concern for him overrode those feelings. “Is Aaron okay?”

“He will be….he is.” Robert said. He wiped a tear that was ready to fall. “There’s something that happened a long time ago and it’s all come back recently. Your too young to understand it completely, but there is something you could do to help him out.”

“Will it keep the two of you from creeping into my room at night and sleeping?” Sebastian asked his father.

“I don’t know, but he hasn’t done that the last few nights.” he truthfully answered.

Seb considered this for a few seconds, asked, “What do you want me to do?”

“It would go a long way to helping him out if you would start calling him dad again.” Robert implored. “You’re his son also and that is important for all three of us. I don’t want you to think I’m pressuring you, because he’s the one that said you could call him Aaron. At least seriously think about giving it a try again.”

“Yeah, I’ll think about it.” Seb answered.

“It’s well past your bedtime now.” Robert answered and smiled. “You’re a good kid, Seb. The best and me and Aaron are lucky to have you, you know?”

There was still a sadness in his father’s eyes. He crawled into his bed with his father pulling the blankets back over him. “Good night, Dad. Love you. And tell Aaron I love him also.”

“Love you too kiddo.” Robert responded. “And your dad asked me to tell you that he loves you too.”

Seb closed his eyes after the lights went out and the door was shut. There was too much to think about and his mind wouldn’t shut off. He prayed a silent prayer he wouldn’t hear any fighting between the two older men, his dads in the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a deviation from what I had planned. I blamed this on the characters who keep going off script from my outline. It doesn't change the story, just brings forward a few plot points that were planned for later chapters. 
> 
> On a personal note, much like the Dingles my parents named me after two Books of the Bible - James Daniel _________. The idea for what Aaron had considered for his and Robert's child if they had a son was to continue the Dingle tradition but to include Robert in the child's name. Along with that, my family on my mother's side could very easily look like the Dingles because there are far too many of us. My mother's brother, Uncle Bob (Robert) had a son named Eric from his first marriage who was one of my closet friends throughout my childhood. We were close, more like brothers than cousins. Uncle Bob and his wife had their own child when I was about 10 years old that passed on within hours of his birth. His name was Philip Nathaniel. I added this as a personal touch in remembrance of the cousin/little brother I didn't get to know.
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to read this exploration and journey for our characters.

**Author's Note:**

> Updated Chapter 1 with the last two additional scenes that weren't quite ready when I posted this as a teaser chapter.
> 
> I have been reading the feedback and comments and very much appreciate it and everyone taking the time to explore this journey into a possible future with Robert, Aaron and Seb with me. Respect, Peace & Love


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